Review: ‘Hardcore Henry’ Completely Irredeemable

So you want to know what it is like to sit through Hardcore Henry? First, go to the nearest wall and place your head against it. Now, just start rapidly banging said cranium into that wall for about ninety minutes. Perhaps the only difference in the experience is that banging your head like that will, over time, result in a blackout but with Hardcore Henry, no one is that lucky. In all of my years of watching films, I’ve never come across a movie completely irredeemable. Hardcore Henry is as stupid as it looks and will leave you feeling you’ve been financially violated. There is no logical reason anyone should waste $15 to see this “film.”

Hardcore Henry claims it is an action movie but in reality it’s like you are trapped in a terrible video game.  The idea is that the person who’s watching the film is Hardcore Henry, and the whole story is shot on a GoPro. Everything Henry sees, we see (no matter how much we wish didn’t). This Henry awakens in what looks to be this nightmarish hospital room from the future and, after a series of operations, is fitted with items that would be found on some sort of, well, RoboCop (this is speculation on my part as this is not clearly outlined). Then after an explosion effect that resembles a misfired firework, in walks this bleach blonde villain who seems to have elements of the force (?) but seems bent on making an army of Robo-soldiers to take over the world.  Throw in a cockney named Jimmy, whom we find out later can replicate himself (?), endless chases through Russia (done in a fraction of the typical special effect budget ), and that is Hardcore Henry in a very painful nutshell. I’m aware none of this makes a lick of sense. I know this is confusing. It’s as if they bought a GoPro camera and decided just to wing it. While Tim Roth does make a very brief appearance in the film, I am sure years later he will deny he took part in the unfathomable mess. Why would you want to admit even that you were part of this?

This is just an example of Hollywood developing ideas they think will translate on screen without truly thinking it through. Does the audience want to sit and experience shaky camera footage for over an hour? While some might argue that hardcore gamers will love this film, then why did the gamers leaving the screening look completely unfazed by this movie? And wy wouldn’t they just, you know, play their game? At least there’s payoff there. This is for those of you out there who have more fun watching your buddy play Call of Duty instead of actually playing it. So nobody.

If someone in your family truly wants to see Hardcore Henry, just take their fifteen dollars and burn it front of them. At least that’ll be fun to do.