So my wife said to me recently,“You are so funny when you are mad about a movie you just saw.” I don’t necessarily see the humor that others might see in the misery that occurs when sitting through a terrible two-hour movie but I get what she is alluding to. When any one of us sit through a stinker of a movie, one of our first impulses is to discuss with the nearest person how bad that movie was. It’s almost as if you are now part of a select group of people who had to endure the agony of the last couple of hours. With that in mind, I feel it’s time to get into the Top 10 worst movies of 2015 (so far). Avoid these movies at all costs.
10) Pitch Perfect 2 –I know that I am going to catch some heat for this one but I still don’t understand why they felt it was necessary to revisit something that really had nothing to revisit. I think this movie was aca-waste of my time. If you have the urge to see this movie just take out the 20 dollars that you were going to spend and light it on fire.
9) 2nd Best Exotic Marigold Hotel –Again, we have a sequel where they should have just let the first movie be instead of trying to do more. I found myself not caring one bit about Judi Dench or any of the characters in this movie. It was a bore! If you want to know what it’s like to sit through this movie just find the nearest corner in your house or apartment and stare at it for 122 minutes. Just stare … and stare some more. Then you will understand what I went through sitting through this movie.
8) Hot Pursuit – You take one Academy award winner, pair her up with the Spanish mom from Modern Family and you get cinematic trash. If your significant other wants to see this movie you should immediately break up with them. If you go on a date and that person has rented this movie, you should remember a previous engagement on the other side of town.
7) Insurgent –This movie felt like I(a non-spanish speaking person) was watching a Spanish Soap Opera on Telemundo. Wildly confusing choices were made in this movie and it led to a stinker of a final product. After seeing this movie, I felt like I needed to lie down for 3 days.
6) Self/Less-Why, Ryan Reynolds? Why! You are so talented and you end up in such craptastic movies.
5) Project Almanac-Yay! A movie with teens that has shaky camera footage and makes no sense! This movie had all the quality of an MTV TV Movie, yet wasn’t good enough for MTV.
4) Jupiter Ascending-If you want to see a movie that :
- Makes you want to hurt someone, so they can experience your pain for sitting through it
- Makes no sense.
- Makes you wonder what sort of blackmail pictures the director may have of Channing Tatum
Then this is the movie for you!
3) 50 Shades of Grey-Let’s take two very inexperienced actors that no one has any desire of seeing and put them in a movie where they are naked for most of it. Perfect Plan! This movie was literally a gut punch to my soul.
2) The Boy Next Door-This movie is supposed to be a horror film but truthfully it could have been called a comedy. The acting is so bad, the script was horrid, and the sets were something out of a Gaither High School Drama club production (I should know). This movie made me feel like I had experienced a traumatic brain injury as I left the theater completely confused.
1) Magic Mike XXL-A movie that had all the promise and didn’t deliver squat. This movie is an example of why Hollywood is wrong to take the easy way out when it comes to developing projects. On paper this movie should have been a mega success based on the 1st Magic Mike and right now it will be lucky to make ¾ of the money the 1st made. The reason is simple: people don’t want to waste their time with garbage and this movie is garbage.
I hope this list was helpful to you. As always this is the way I see things but if you disagree let me know why. One person’s trash might be another person’s treasure.
