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Review: ‘Steven Universe’: Monster Reunion: Origins Through Crayon

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An old friend returns.

Steven’s healing ability is back and he tries to heal Centipeetle with it. The creature becomes a tad less monstrous because of it but is still angry and unable to speak. Luckily Steven has crayons and through drawings, the truth about Centipeetle and its history is revealed.

This is when the show really stands out as it finds a way to tell a lot of information in a short amount of time. Through just a bit of speculation a lot can be extracted from this episode. Centipeetle was a captain who wasn’t trained to fight but was caught up in the gem war anyways. This helps to show on top of the Homeworld Gems fighting the Crystal Gems, there were others who simply were at the wrong place at the wrong time during the war.

The biggest revelation to take away is the power of the Diamonds. It is made clear they have the ability to corrupt gems they find to be inferior into being monsters. This helps to dispel the idea the different Gems became monstrous because of some other aspects such as just injury during battle or because of some accident. Instead it proves the idea of the Diamonds are in control and are willing to use their power to corrupt anyone they wish into monsters. They are incredible dangerous and so far the fans have only properly been introduced to one of the three of them.

It’s very good to see a character return from a previous episode. Its also nice to see Steven’s healing return but at the same time it seems to be operating on the aspect of plot convenience. It will come and go as needed. Still the crayon drawings of the Centipeetle’s past, it’s time in the war, and the reveal of the power of the Diamonds is more than enough to make this a very worthwhile episode.

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Review: ‘Steven Universe’: Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service: Dreaming Of Action

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Kiki has nightmares and Steven intervenes.

Steven finds himself jumping into Kiki’s dream every night to protect her from nightmares. You would think Steven would take some time to really think about not being going into someone’s dream after his recent experience with body swapping into Lars. Unfortunately, this is not the case and to decide to keep going into Kiki’s dreams over and over again and to defeat her nightmares in effort to allow her to sleep well but at the same time causing him to get ever more exhausted.

The lesson to take from this is confront your trouble even if they are uncomfortable. It may be hard to talk with someone about something which is bother you but it’s better to confront them about it instead of holding it un. It can eventually eat away at you and it tear you up from the inside. It’s a good piece of advice for anyone at any age. Some adults even have difficulty standing up to others because they are worried about how it will be perceived or if they may hurt another’s feelings. It is when the show looks at mature subjects like this it really shines.

This is the closest thing to battle in seven episodes and it’s gonna have to satisfy the action quota until something else comes along. It will do but more actual gems going head-to-head with other gems would be nice. Still this is the halfway point of the season and so far there have been far more emotional moments than action taking place.

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A Fujoshi Anime Summer! “Let’s Jam”

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So it’s a “Fujoshi Anime Summer” and that makes things really complicated for me. For those of you pure-minded anime fans, a “Fujoshi” (roughly translated into rotten woman) is a female otaku who has specific tastes in boys love/reverse harem shows. I’d compare them to the Twilight or Hunger Games fans we have here in America. Now I’m not sexist or anything and can sometimes see the forest through the trees. There are great Fujoshi oriented shows just like there are great male Otaku oriented shows. But this season is so full of bad or straight interestingly boring Fujoshi shows that there really isn’t anything interesting to talk about this season. Well that’s a lie, but I can only talk about Gay Girls in anime so much before it gets redundant. So i’ll save my thought of this seasons Iyashikei series Amanchu! for another time. But seeing that I did have to stomach through some of the most boring Fujoshi/girl only shows this season, I thought this is a chance for me to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to poorly describe every Fujoshi show that I watched the first episode for and give my opinion while trying to describe with the thoughts I had while I was watching it. This is probably the most informal thing I’ve written so don’t feel like you have to counter my points. All these thoughts are pretty much being fired from the hip, because I’m trying to make it as funny and honest as possible.

I would put a disclaimer but if you are a thinking person, you’l get the point of these pieces anyway. So here we go.

B-Project Kodou*Ambitious

So we get I think it was three different boy groups together who are all going to be B-Project-Kodou-Ambitiousmanaged by the most milk toast insert girl. Having insert girls to parallel insert males is kinda new to me so I’m adjusting. Anyway the first thing I’m thinking is some have to be gay because she doesn’t have nearly enough holes or hands for these ten guys. Sure enough there are four or five guys who immediately come off as capable of swinging for the other team, or bi-sexual in case they wanna switch out to make things interesting for the girl. Either way half of this episode was character introductions and if I didn’t know these were all boys I would have sworn that half of them were girls. I left this show thinking that I’m no where near the strongest guy and I could beat all these pussies up, ripped abs and all.

Days

This show has two things to offer, okay maybe three things. The first is the main Dayscharacters hot childhood friend. I’ve seen better but she’s pretty fine. The second is that it’s a great intro sports anime, because it operates on the most cliché aspects of a sports show. Super eager newb, a passive guy who’s love for the sport has dwindled, and a homoerotic subtext, which is the third thing. The main lead is clearly a self insert for girls who want strong boys to be their senpai and dote over how good they’re trying. Nothing else defines the main characters. His mom is sick or whatever, all I was thinking about was if I banged her would she die. Other than that I thought too many boys blushing at other boys. This may seem like a manly show but it’s as generic and tailored for women as it gets.

Hatsukoi Monster

If I had time that I wanted to spend on ridiculous things I would consider watching the Hatsukoi Monsterrest of this show. But then I remember there are seven seasons of Teekyuu and those episodes are only two minutes. For some reason Japan has kids who are insanely tall ad mature and they still decide to dress them in inappropriate clothes for their size and appearance. The main girl is another insert character (see a pattern here?) who is kinda hot if not for the uninspired shoujo designs. The rest of the cast is either a child or some generic high school/college characters who can comment on the weird relationship a sixteen year old girl is having with a ten-year old. This is just three steps away from being Super Lovers. I think some people have said that, “there are no boundaries when it comes to art and expression.” Well I’m here to say that those people are idiots and this show probably is the cause of kids dying in Africa.

Scared Rider XechS

There’s something about the color palette in Fujoshi shows. It’s always either way too Scared Rider Xechsvibrant like with B-Project Kodou*Ambitious or its super faded like Hatsukoi Monster or this show. With a show with this kinda title I expected for something ridiculous. What I got was, well I can’t come up with a good punchline. It was just shit. For the majority of this viewing my roommate kept asking me “why are we still watching this?” The only reason I could formulate was my need to see these pretty boys jump in their mechs. Which they don’t even have. It’s basically Digimon Tamers but all the designs look like something a first time cosplayer would cook up. Which is weird because the boys Digimon partners didn’t look half bad. But if we don’t put them in skin-tight gear the Fujoshi couldn’t look at their bulge, and their slender man figure. Oh yeah and the music the main character plays sucks.

Servamp

By far the most redeemable show here. Still an utter pain to get through.Servamp I feel like all these shows just rely on the fact that you came for the boys, and don’t even try to execute anything beyond that. We got a vampire cat who just quit Panic at the Disco and a generic boy who does things because he’s a martyr. This show thinks that bad guys always have to be hysterically gay, sort of like Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh!. Either way I got to see some cool blood but the master servant dominance and obedience of the vampire made me want to barf. If there’s one thing that bothers me is men who are subservient and don’t really have any ambition. The vampire in this show is basically an insert for both and I hate it.

If you want to subjugate yourself to this torture or think I’m a misogynist woman hating piece of garbage and want to check out these shows for yourself, they are all streaming on crunchyroll.com and funimation.com. Until next time where I talk about mutual nonsexual girls love, or something akin to that.

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Review: ‘Steven Universe’: Restaurant Wars: An Order Of Amusement

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Steven settles a rivalry between restaurant owners.

The great food treaty breaks down and it becomes the Frymans vs. The Pizzas as each store tries to out sell the other. Steven, who messed everything up in the first place tries to get Renold and Kiki to pretend to be in love in an effort to stop things. This doesn’t work but Steven won’t quit until he finds a way to resolve the situation.

This episode is pure comedy and very little on any actual character development. Still, this is the first some of these characters have been around in a while such as Mr. Fryman and Mr. Pizza, but it’s not like they receive any time of character development or anything from this incident. Things will just go back to the way they were before any of this happened. It was rather amusing to see a certain character did indeed have a girlfriend. In fact the reaction to it and the fallout are the best parts of the entire episode.

How many more episodes of side stories and whimsy will we be getting? There needs to be some kind of action and adventure in the near future. The season is almost half over and the majority of the episodes so far have been light and fluffy. Well, this usually is the way things are though with Steven Universe. For every light episode which comes there is another one which is deep and full of drama. Usually once things get close to the season finale is where events start to look bleak and hopeless. We should take the time to enjoy these types of episodes while they last as there is a good chance things won’t be all jokes about Pizza Bagels in a few weeks.

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Nickel Brook Brewing Co: Cause & Effect Blonde – An Effectual Review

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Nickel Brook Brewing Company grew out of Better Bitters Brewing Company, a home-brewed venture of John and Peter Romano. The brothers started Better Bitters in the ’90s. But, as their website states, when John wanted to brew high-quality craft beer, Nickel Brook Brewing Company was born. Based in Burlington, Ontario, this micro-brewery has won awards in both Canada and the US. I was able to pick up a couple of these funky looking cans at my local liquor store, and although I’m not sure if their Cause & Effect blonde ale is a “miracle of science,” it’s definitely a tasty brew.

Nickel Brook Brewing Co: Cause & Effect – First Sip

Cause & Effect is a cloudy and pale yellow. It develops a thin layer of head as I pour it into my glass. I’m surprised by Cause & Effect’s taste: I generally expect blonde ales to taste pretty bland but this one is full of the dry hops taste I tend to expect when drinking an IPA. A noticeable honey-like malt tempers that bitterness, though. Cause & Effect’s relatively high carbonation level brings the hops flavour forward while also augmenting its mouthfeel. Rather than feeling watery like some other blonde ales, Cause & Effect manages an almost fuzzy mouthfeel that gives it a long and bitter finish.

Nickel Brook Brewing Co: Cause & Effect – Last Sip

This beer impressed me. Some other reviews I saw describe Cause & Effect as bland and boring but the balance between malt and hops is on point for this reviewer. In terms of food pairings, I suggest the typical pub fare: deep-fried food, burgers, pizza. The bitterness of the hops goes well with just about anything oily. Plus, because it’s not as hop forward as an IPA and there isn’t much of an aroma to miss, Cause & Effect is a good beer to have in or out of the can. That this beer is a somewhat low 4.7% ABV was a surprise. So, if you’re watching your waistline, give it a shot.

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Review: ‘Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable’: Episode 18

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Shigechi’s Harvest, part 1

Josuke and Okuyasu find themselves chasing after an army of tiny Stands which are gathering money. They find they all belong to a boy named Shigekiyo Yangu (Shigechi for short). He’s a good natured simple minded person much like Majin Buu from Dragonball Z but just like Buu, it appears as if he may have a dark side to him. Josuke and Okuyasu see the potential of his abilities and how socially challenged he is and try to see if they can’t help him grow a bit as a character and maybe take full advantage of Shigechi’s Stand.

It’s a fun episode and does offer a bit of a good moral lesson. Even though Josuke and Okuyasu are using Shigechi for his Stand, they genuinely are attempting to find a way to help him be more outgoing and sociable by interacting with him. Well, at least this is Josuke’s idea behind it which really goes to show he is the more mature individual out of his little group and the one who is ready to step up and be an adult when the time comes. Unfortunately, Shigekiyo has not really learned how to be mature from his time with the two of them and it looks like he’s going to have trouble sharing with others.

The episode is entertaining, especially near the end but it’s not without its hints something big is about to happen. Such as the talk of the mysterious murder still at large and Koichi being followed by Yamagishi again. Has she learned her lesson or does she want to try and keep him as her own again? Will the murder come out in the next episode or will it just focus more on Shigechi? Only time will tell.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable is streaming on Crunchyroll.

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‘Luke Cage’ First Three Episode Titles Released

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Luke Cage Showrunner Cheo Hodari Coker dropped the titles for the first three episodes of the show. Check ’em out below.

Episode 1: Moment of Truth.

Episode 2: Code of The Streets.

Episode 3: Who’s Gonna Take The Weight?

Along with these titles, he also revealed that we’ll be getting new titles every Friday until September 30, so be sure to check Monkeys Fighting Robots for each episode title.

The entire first season of Luke Cage hits Netflix on September 30.

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Review: ‘Berserk’: Episode 5: The Suffering Of Survivors

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Tower of Conviction

Guts picks up a straggler this episode in the form of Isidoro, the boy from the first episode. Considering he’s in the opening to the show it can be safe to say he’s going to be sticking around for a while. Other than dispatching of a few demons and some highly trained assassins known as the Kushan, Guts doesn’t really have much screen time this episode.

Instead the focus goes to the group of refugees Casca has been picked up by. The scenes of poverty to illuminate the suffering of the people are on full display. The brutality and corruption of the church is right out in the open as well complete with scenes of corpses in cages, skeletons still tied to the stakes they were burned at, and even a convenient torture room. There is a pretty good chance this isn’t the kind of church which plays Bingo on Wednesday mornings.

Luckily, Caska, who has been bandaged up to cover her looks, is being taken care of by a prostitute named Luca. Luca is a very intriguing character as although society would shun her for what she does, she is actually showing more compassion than those in authority. Hopefully she is going to be able to make it out of this alive or at least without getting taken to the torture room.

This episode is light on action but has a lot of good drama and world building to it. The setting is there so when Guts does arrive he is able to make short work of these wolves in saint’s clothing as he works to get Caska back. He just needs to get there fast because things can go from normal to crazy at the drop of the hat in an instant in this series.

Berserk is streaming on Crunchyroll.

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Review: ‘Jason Bourne’ The Most Disappointing Film Of The Summer

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Jason Bourne is one of the summer’s most anticipated releases. It’s an action film in name only, a subdued two-hour film that’s tedious and seems more concerned with making a political statement than entertaining an audience. Bourne appears to be going through more of a pseudo mid-life crisis than being entrenched in any espionage rich narrative.

Bourne has been making a concerted effort to stay off the grid for the last ten years and has found his way into the world of bare-knuckle boxing. His old partner in crime, Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), is in Iceland working at a hacker camp and manages to get into the CIA database, downloading old black-ops files. While looking through those files, she uncovers that Jason’s dad may have been the mastermind behind the Tredstone program. Seriously.

Jason Bourne She somehow knows where Bourne is and gets word to him that they need to meet.  Unbeknownst to them, the CIA had tracked Parsons and planned to apprehend her. In the course of the operation to arrest her, they quickly realize that Bourne is nearby. The CIA Director Robert Dewey (Tommy Lee Jones) suddenly makes the call that now Bourne is the target. A chase ensues through the streets of the capital of Greece.

At this point, the audience is pumped because now we are all expecting Bourne to seek vengeance. Instead, what we are left with is ninety minutes of a meandering plot line that ranges from him soul searching (finding who the “real” Jason Bourne is… you know… inside) to fretting over who killed his daddy. What? Are you serious? This isn’t the Jason Bourne that we are used to seeing. Bourne’s purpose in life is to get to the bottom of the problem and do so by any means necessary. In this film, we see him walking away, reflecting on the past, and fretting about his next move.

Paul Greengrass and Christopher Rouse have crafted a narrative that seems hell-bent on making a political statement, plot be damned. There’s a tiny sub-plot that they keep going back to again and again, centering on the CIA/NSA spying on our citizens, with the help of some social-media platform. While no one will deny that the sub-plot is certainly topical, it shouldn’t have been a major focus of this film. Jason Bourne already had so many other sub-plots meandering at the same time, the CIA/NSA sub-plot is forgettable when, in fact, it should have been what saved this film. Imagine if Bourne was out to shut down the CIA/NSA surveillance system.

Fans of Bourne will feel the action at least makes the film watchable. Well, even the action lacks a certain amount of authenticity to it and comes off as more rote than anything. In the first three films, it was if Jason Bourne had a fire in him that drove to kick ass and take names. In this movie, he’s listless and just does what he has to do to walk away from the situation.

Sometimes we should leave certain movies in the past. The previous three Damon Bourne films were textbook examples of what a good action film is supposed to be. Alas, we’re left with the bad taste of Jason Bourne in our mind, the summers most disappointing film.

 

 

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‘Jason Bourne’ Review: The Bourne Continuum

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When The Bourne Legacy came out in 2012, audiences and critics were quick to dismiss the Jeremy Renner-lead spin-off for the egregious lack of its titular character, Jason Bourne (Matt Damon), and the dubious means in which it connected, however loosely, to the series. These complaints were warranted, to be fair. While I enjoyed Tony Gilroy’s film more than most, it was ultimately a bit of a cash-grab, and it lacked the intensity, ruggedness and gritty craftsmanship that made the original three films — the first, 2002’s The Bourne Identity, directed by Doug Liman, the other two, 2004’s The Bourne Legacy and 2007’s The Bourne Ultimatum, directed by Paul Greengrass — such a global phenomenon, particularly in a post-9/11 world. But if they had known what was in store in Jason Bourne, Damon and Greengrass’ unexpected return to the property, maybe they would have been kinder.

The fourth film in the series, the first to feature the lead character in nine years, isn’t necessarily bad. Greengrass is among the most distinct and intelligent filmmakers working today, and even his weakest efforts, like 2010’s Green Zone, bare his signature touch. Jason Bourne is no exception. But with expectations high and the country at more unrest than seemingly ever before, the results are unexpectedly stagnant and formulaic this time around, in ways the franchise has never been before — even under The Bourne Legacy‘s watch.

jason-bourne03It lacks the same drive and pulp that made the past three installments so electrifying, exciting and terrifically entertaining to watch, providing a disappointingly sleepy return. Damon and Greengrass really needed to bring the lightning, especially after so much time spent away from the franchise. Instead, they merely bring the occasional burst of thunder, in a film that rumbles instead of shakes — even when the camera suggests otherwise. But I’ll get to that more in-depth in a moment.

After living in seclusion for years, Jason Bourne is back, and the government isn’t happy. Called into action by his former partner, Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), Jason finds himself running towards answers regarding his past, particularly relating to his dead father, which CIA Director Robert Dewey (Tommy Lee Jones) doesn’t want Bourne to discover. Assisted by Heather Lee (Alicia Vikander), a rookie tech wiz, and Asset (Vincent Cassel), an ace shooter with a bone to pick, they track and corner the trained agent around the globe.

And while he’s not getting any younger, Bourne finds himself no match to drones, lethal snippers and cell phone trackers. Though he might be more vulnerable to resistance, his thirst for the truth can never be quenched, even if Lee thinks the CIA can use Bourne’s fragile existence to their advantage. Bourne isn’t afraid to stand up for himself, but as things get more comprised, he’ll realize that his own well-being isn’t the only one on the line. When tech billionaire Aaron Kallor (Riz Ahmed) threatens to upset Dewey’s plans towards infringing national privacy, Bourne will need to protect the identity safety of the free world, in addition to searching almost endlessly for his own true self.

jason-bourne-official-trailer-20Damon and Greengrass felt it was important to give Bourne a timely purpose to return, and while Bourne’s relevance in a social media age post-Snowden is interesting, it’s ultimately left mostly unexplored in the service of punching, kicking, smashing, dashing and general action beats, which grow more tiresome over the course of this 123 minute sequel. With the exception of one truly extraordinary Vegas-based car crash, leading to one of the most impressive practical stunts seen on-screen in years, the action feels like a retread of what we’ve already seen before, notably from Greengrass’ trilogy capper. It’s no longer fresh or exhilarating, and it expects us to be thrilled by the same camera tricks and physical feats that we’ve already seen before. But that’s not the only thing that rehashed.

Jason Bourne essentially plays as a soft reboot of The Bourne Supremacy, to the point where it recreates a key spoilery moment from that specific installment (which, apparently, was leaked in the newest trailer). It suggests that this fourth film is the start of a new trilogy, but with the last few films not far in our own memories, and without anything truly interesting or unique to derive from the series, it just feels cheap and lazy. While Damon is never less than committed to the character, both physically and professionally,  the general vibe of this new film is unenthused and sluggish. Greengrass is too talented and prideful a filmmaker to make something completely half-assed, to be sure, but the plotting is less defined, the writing isn’t as sharp and it lacks a firm, beating heart this time around. Despite what The Bourne Legacy‘s biggest detractors might say, Jason Bourne feels like the most soulless Bourne film to date.

jasonbourneheaderI’ve never been a big shaky cam fan, but the way it was used in Supremacy and Ultimatum felt purposeful and engaging. It brought an intensity and intimacy that wasn’t found in other films prior. But here, it just feels uninspired and dodgy. While it’s stylistically in-sync with the other films, it now comes across sloppy and undefined, especially as other, lamer action films have tried (and often failed) to mimic the style, ad nauseam, throughout the past decade. Which is ultimately kinda indicative of this third sequel as a whole.

Jason Bourne is not without merit. The cast does a noble job on the whole, although Ahmed is perhaps the biggest standout. The Nightcrawler actor continues to prove himself on HBO’s The Night Of and, while he’s given only a limited amount of screen time, he continues to astound. Additionally, the grounded scenery is lived-in and appropriately gritty, in ways only Greengrass and Michael Mann’s films have been for productions of this scale. And the editing, from co-writer Christopher Rouse, is fast and hard-hitting, as it has always been in this series. But in a summer filled with disappointments, this one is particularly discouraging — particularly since it has no real right to be as mediocre as it ends up. Jason Bourne has finally returned, yes, but he makes an unremarkable comeback. I think some people owe a formal apology to The Bourne Legacy.

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