A Fujoshi Anime Summer! “Let’s Jam”

So it’s a “Fujoshi Anime Summer” and that makes things really complicated for me. For those of you pure-minded anime fans, a “Fujoshi” (roughly translated into rotten woman) is a female otaku who has specific tastes in boys love/reverse harem shows. I’d compare them to the Twilight or Hunger Games fans we have here in America. Now I’m not sexist or anything and can sometimes see the forest through the trees. There are great Fujoshi oriented shows just like there are great male Otaku oriented shows. But this season is so full of bad or straight interestingly boring Fujoshi shows that there really isn’t anything interesting to talk about this season. Well that’s a lie, but I can only talk about Gay Girls in anime so much before it gets redundant. So i’ll save my thought of this seasons Iyashikei series Amanchu! for another time. But seeing that I did have to stomach through some of the most boring Fujoshi/girl only shows this season, I thought this is a chance for me to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to poorly describe every Fujoshi show that I watched the first episode for and give my opinion while trying to describe with the thoughts I had while I was watching it. This is probably the most informal thing I’ve written so don’t feel like you have to counter my points. All these thoughts are pretty much being fired from the hip, because I’m trying to make it as funny and honest as possible.

I would put a disclaimer but if you are a thinking person, you’l get the point of these pieces anyway. So here we go.

B-Project Kodou*Ambitious

So we get I think it was three different boy groups together who are all going to be managed by the most milk toast insert girl. Having insert girls to parallel insert males is kinda new to me so I’m adjusting. Anyway the first thing I’m thinking is some have to be gay because she doesn’t have nearly enough holes or hands for these ten guys. Sure enough there are four or five guys who immediately come off as capable of swinging for the other team, or bi-sexual in case they wanna switch out to make things interesting for the girl. Either way half of this episode was character introductions and if I didn’t know these were all boys I would have sworn that half of them were girls. I left this show thinking that I’m no where near the strongest guy and I could beat all these pussies up, ripped abs and all.

Days

This show has two things to offer, okay maybe three things. The first is the main characters hot childhood friend. I’ve seen better but she’s pretty fine. The second is that it’s a great intro sports anime, because it operates on the most cliché aspects of a sports show. Super eager newb, a passive guy who’s love for the sport has dwindled, and a homoerotic subtext, which is the third thing. The main lead is clearly a self insert for girls who want strong boys to be their senpai and dote over how good they’re trying. Nothing else defines the main characters. His mom is sick or whatever, all I was thinking about was if I banged her would she die. Other than that I thought too many boys blushing at other boys. This may seem like a manly show but it’s as generic and tailored for women as it gets.

Hatsukoi Monster

If I had time that I wanted to spend on ridiculous things I would consider watching the rest of this show. But then I remember there are seven seasons of Teekyuu and those episodes are only two minutes. For some reason Japan has kids who are insanely tall ad mature and they still decide to dress them in inappropriate clothes for their size and appearance. The main girl is another insert character (see a pattern here?) who is kinda hot if not for the uninspired shoujo designs. The rest of the cast is either a child or some generic high school/college characters who can comment on the weird relationship a sixteen year old girl is having with a ten-year old. This is just three steps away from being Super Lovers. I think some people have said that, “there are no boundaries when it comes to art and expression.” Well I’m here to say that those people are idiots and this show probably is the cause of kids dying in Africa.

Scared Rider XechS

There’s something about the color palette in Fujoshi shows. It’s always either way too vibrant like with B-Project Kodou*Ambitious or its super faded like Hatsukoi Monster or this show. With a show with this kinda title I expected for something ridiculous. What I got was, well I can’t come up with a good punchline. It was just shit. For the majority of this viewing my roommate kept asking me “why are we still watching this?” The only reason I could formulate was my need to see these pretty boys jump in their mechs. Which they don’t even have. It’s basically Digimon Tamers but all the designs look like something a first time cosplayer would cook up. Which is weird because the boys Digimon partners didn’t look half bad. But if we don’t put them in skin-tight gear the Fujoshi couldn’t look at their bulge, and their slender man figure. Oh yeah and the music the main character plays sucks.

Servamp

By far the most redeemable show here. Still an utter pain to get through. I feel like all these shows just rely on the fact that you came for the boys, and don’t even try to execute anything beyond that. We got a vampire cat who just quit Panic at the Disco and a generic boy who does things because he’s a martyr. This show thinks that bad guys always have to be hysterically gay, sort of like Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh!. Either way I got to see some cool blood but the master servant dominance and obedience of the vampire made me want to barf. If there’s one thing that bothers me is men who are subservient and don’t really have any ambition. The vampire in this show is basically an insert for both and I hate it.

If you want to subjugate yourself to this torture or think I’m a misogynist woman hating piece of garbage and want to check out these shows for yourself, they are all streaming on crunchyroll.com and funimation.com. Until next time where I talk about mutual nonsexual girls love, or something akin to that.