Nicolas Cage Reaches Peak Cage, Will Fight a Jaguar on a Boat for ‘Primal’

Nicolas Cage. What else is there to say about this man? This American treasure (or should I say, Nationa… no, I won’t), who has transformed into one of the most legendary B-movie shlock action trash savants we have ever seen. Once an interesting young talent, then an Oscar winner, then an action star, and now paying off debts left and right and keeping studios like Hannibal in business.

It seems now that Nicolas Cage will reach peak Cage in Primal, his new action movie where he will fight a jaguar on a boat.

Oh, and not just a jaguar, mind you. Here’s the Hollywood Reporter explaining it:

Frank Walsh (Cage), a big game hunter for zoos who has booked passage on a Greek shipping freighter with a fresh haul of exotic and deadly animals from the Amazon, including a rare white jaguar. However, the big cat isn’t the most deadly creature on board. Richard Loffler, a political assassin being extradited to the U.S in secret, is also along for the ride. Two days into their journey, Loffler escapes the team of U.S. Marshals guarding him and releases the captive animals, throwing the ship into chaos. Walsh must now find a way to save the crew from not only the dangerous beasts, but also the mad man on the loose.


Yeah, we got marshals and assassins and jaguars… and Nicolas Cage. I’m not saying place money down on Oscar nominations, I’m just saying think about it.

There’s no news as to the release of Primal. It will likely have a trailer where we will all collectively chuckle, then next thing you know you’ll pass a Redbox at the grocery store and there it’ll be.

Larry Taylor - Managing Editor
Larry Taylor - Managing Editor
Larry is the managing editor for Monkeys Fighting Robots. The Dalai Lama once told him when he dies he will receive total consciousness. So he's got that going for him... Which is nice.