Last week, we talked about the Charlie Sheen, Whoopi Goldberg movie about the attacks of September 11, 2001. The film, simply titled 9/11 – you know, to be classy and stuff – tells the story of five people trapped in an elevator in one of the World Trade Center towers during the attacks.
We got the poster as visual evidence that this movie is really a thing, and now we have a trailer. And yes, before you ask, it IS as terrible as you can imagine.
Check. This. Out:
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A group of 5 people find themselves trapped in an elevator in the World Trade Center’s North Tower on 9/11. They work together, never giving up hope, to try to escape before the unthinkable happens.
Not only does 9/11 star Charlie Sheen, Goldberg, and Gina Gershon, it’s directed by noted auteur Matin Guigui, who brought us such venerable classics as National Lampoon’s Cattle Call.
I can’t figure out why the trailer is all in Japanese, or what Charlie Sheen is doing in that one scene where he’s taking to the girl trapped in the elevator. Or, who thought this was a good idea from the very beginning… that might be the most confusing.
And, hey, Luis Guzman, what the hell are YOU doing? You were in Traffic, Carlito’s Way, fucking Boogie Nights! Did you not turn to someone at any point during the shoot and whisper “is this real? Are they actually going to go through with this?”
Oh yeah, and there’s this little nugget from Charlie Sheen about the attacks: “It seems to me like 19 amateurs with box cutters taking over four commercial airlines and hitting 75 percent of their targets — that feels like a conspiracy theory.” Yeah, happy memorial from your friendly neighborhood truther.
Anyway, 9/11 will be here September 8, it’s only 90 minutes, and you can go to the movie theater to… celebrate… 9/11? With a shitty Charlie Sheen movie about 9/11? What is even happening anymore?
