Dear Mr. Abrams,
I speak for all movie goers in stating just how excited we are for Star Wars: The Force Awakens to hit theaters in mid-December. After what you did in resurrecting the Star Trek franchise, I’m giddy at what you and Lawrence Kasdan have created. However, I have one small request if you wouldn’t mind, stop with the endless TV Spots promoting the film! I understand that you have an obligation to promote the movie but seriously does this movie need any more promotion? Star Wars: The Force Awakens is projected to shatter every box office record ever created, so I think you guys certainly have the word out about Episode VII.
Now I don’t want you to take this as an insult to the trailers you have put out for all of us to see. Trailers are fine (in fact they are necessary) but having an average bland Disney Channel host talking us through the Star Wars Universe is just taking it a little too far. Don’t you think?
I bet you that if you went to Disney right now and had every ad pulled for The Force Awakens that you still would make 250 million dollars in the opening weekend. Come on, you have to be feeling pretty good about this movie as Disney bought every IMAX screen from Maine to Montana and all points in between.
Also can we please tone down the Corporate Synergy that’s happening during the promotion of this film? Everywhere I turn, I see another The Force Awakens cross-promotional moment. From the trailer airing on Monday Night Football to having Shonda Rimes discuss The Force Awakens footage on ABC this past Thursday. We get it, Disney, you know own the rights, but you don’t have to take it to this level of intergalactic promotion. I swear it wouldn’t surprise me if Kylo Ren was cast as the new Mr. Feeney in Girl Meets World. Now that I think about it, that actually would make sense because Adam Driver does have experience appearing on a show dominated by women.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, Mr. Abrams, I wish you nothing but success as you begin your new venture into the Star Wars universe.
P.S. – If you have a role for a bald surly film critic in either Episode VIII or Episode IV, look me up.