The first trailer for the upcoming thriller Sugar Mountain has hit the web. The film follows two down on their luck brothers as they fake their disappearance to get out of their debts.
The film stars Jason Momoa, Carey Elwes, Drew Roy, John Karna, and Anna Hutchinson.
It is set to hit theaters and iTunes on December 9th.
Bond Girls are an antiquated idea to some, especially in today’s gender-equality climate. Yet, they’re important. More than the gadgets, more than the exotic locations, more than the villains, the women are THE most essential element to the James Bond franchise.
This is a listing of every main Bond Girl from the movies. This isn’t a beauty competition. They’re positions stem from the effect they have on Bond, and the strength of their own character.
43) DR. CHRISTMAS JONES (The World Is Not Enough – 1999)
“I’ve heard all the jokes.”
With a name like this, you can tell she ain’t a rocket scientist. She’s actually a physicist played by Denise Richards. That’s right, a short-shorts-wearin’ American doc who teams up with Bond to stop a plot involving uranium core rods and something about oil. What? All of Pierce Brosnan’s outings can’t be GoldenEye.
42) PLENTY O’TOOLE (Diamonds Are Forever – 1971)
Lana Wood plays the titular (wink-wink) character who only sees maybe eight minutes of screen time. Plenty is a gold-digger on the prowl in the Whyte House’s casino when she meets James Bond (Sean Connery). He takes her back to his room where a gaggle of thugs toss her out a window.
41) AKI (You Only Live Twice – 1967)
Akiko Wakabayashi plays this Japenese secret agent who helps Bond (Connery). Their mission: sift out who stole an American space capsule (from space) before America and Russia commence World War III. Aki doesn’t really do much, so she’s basically here for her death scene: a bead of poison drips down a string, plinks on her lips, and closes her wind pipe.
40) LUPE LAMORA (Licence To Kill – 1989)
Talisa Soto isn’t given much to do. Other than pose with an iguana for the movie’s one sheet, she’s the villain’s moll who defects to help James Bond (Timothy Dalton). Ms. Soto went on to appear in the Mortal Kombat movies and marry Benjamin Bratt.
39) Strawberry Fields (Quantum of Solace – 2008)
Gemma Arterton plays this British spy, known only in the movie as Agent Fields. Yet her first name no doubt hails from the color of her hair. At least, I’m hoping. Otherwise it’s a terrible John Lennon reference. Fields appearance is short and largely unnecessary. She meets her demise by being covered in oil from head to toe. Give the writers some sympathy, the writer’s strike was on, so it Daniel Craig and director Marc Forster constructed the unfinished script while filming.
38) LUCIA SCIARRA (SPECTRE – 2015)
Another one without much to do. Lucia is memorable because of the actress who plays her; Monica Bellucci is the first woman over 50 to play a Bond Girl. Quite remarkable.
37) PARIS CARVER (Tomorrow Never Dies – 1997)
“How about the words: ‘I’ll be right back.'”
Lois Lane goes Bond. Teri Hatcher plays this small, yet memorable role as the villain’s wife. She also happens to be one of Bond’s past jilted lovers.
36) ANDREA ANDERS (The Man with the Golden Gun – 1974)
Maud Adams plays this sympathetic, hopeless victim of the movie’s villain, Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee). Anders is nothing more than Scaramanga’s mistress. He sleeps with her before each kill to improve his eyesight. A lot of men probably had their teeth rattled trying this one on their girlfriends when the movie was released. But her pain isn’t limited to just Scaramanga; James Bond (Roger Moore) smacks her around and almost breaks her arm to gain information from her.
35) MARY GOODNIGHT (The Man with the Golden Gun – 1974)
Goodnight appears in several of the 007 books as Bond’s secretary. In her one and only movie appearance, she’s another British spy played Swedish actress and model Britt Ekland. Goodnight is sent to aid Bond (Moore) in his mission to kill Scaramanga and recover some ridiculous alternative energy generator known as the Solex Agitator. She’s mainly comic relief eye-candy. MI6 must’ve been desperate for agents if Goodnight made the team.
34) DR. HOLLY GOODHEAD (Moonraker – 1979)
“Take me around the world one more time, James.”
One of the most ludicrous names for a Bond Girl EVER. What the hell?! Wasn’t the name from the book good enough? Gala Brand is more than serviceable. Lois Chiles plays the doctor who is really a CIA agent working undercover as a scientist in the employ of the movie’s villain, Sir Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale). A similarly bullshit name would stab eardrums in one of Brosnan’s movies – Dr. Molly Warmflash (Serena Scott Thomas).
33) COUNTESS LISL VON SCHLAF (For Your Eyes Only – 1981)
The countess’ appearance is short yet memorable. She supplies Bond (Moore) with information about the villain, only to be bulldozed by a Jeep the following morning. When Cassandra Harris took this part, she was the wife of future James Bond Pierce Brosnan.
32) MIRANDA FROST (Die Another Day – 2002)
Rosamund Pike plays this back-stabbing British spy sent to help Bond do something on a giant iceberg. If it was to stop him from hang-gliding on a poorly constructed CGI wave of water, she failed in spades. Usually there’s no coming back from a movie this bad, but Pike did. She received a Best Actress Academy Award nomination for her bitch-tastic role in Gone Girl.
31) SEVERINE (Skyfall – 2012)
French actress Berenice Marlohe steals the casino scene away from James Bond (Daniel Craig). In mere minutes, Marlohe conveys Severine’s hopelessness at being the villain’s mistress. Saddest of all is the barcode tattooed on Severine, marking her as property. Her demise after being used in a game of pistols is a tragic underuse of the character.
30) STACEY SUTTON (A View To A Kill – 1985)
The honey-voiced Tanya Roberts plays Sutton, a geologist who teams up with Bond (Moore) to investigate and stop Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) from flooding Silicon Valley. Whether it’s firing a shotgun full of rock salt at a home invader, or piloting a manic blimp, Sutton gets shit done. And in high heels. Roberts returned to the spotlight in the 1990s on the hit TV comedy That 70s Show.
29) KISSY SUZUKI (You Only Live Twice – 1967)
Mie Hama plays this Japanese agent who marries Bond (Connery) so they can go undercover to prevent the outbreak of World War III. Oddly enough, her character’s name is never spoken. Even more odd is the idea that we’re supposed to believe Sean Connery looks Japanese after his makeover.
28) GIACINTA “JINX” JOHNSON (Die Another Day – 2002)
Halle Berry keeps quite a slender figure here despite all the scenery she chews. But that isn’t Ms. Berry’s fault. A performance by Meryl Streep couldn’t salvage this script. Jinx is a secret agent (shocker!) who teams with Bond to shit on recreated scenes from classic Bond movies (Ursula Andress walking out of the surf; laser-dissection). Rumors swirled that Jinx would get a spin-off movie franchise. That idea failed worse than Q Branch’s invisible car.
27) TILLY MASTERSON (Goldfinger – 1964)
“I want to kill him [Goldfinger]! He killed my sister!”
Tania Mallet plays this piss-poor sharpshooter hellbent on revenge. Another short yet memorable appearance. Made so by nearly being decapitated by a razor-brimmed bowler hat.
26) WAI LIN (Tomorrow Never Dies – 1997)
She is Bond’s equal in every possible way. Michelle Yeoh brings her years of martial arts film experience to dish help Bond dish out pain to stop Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) from starting World War III (again), this time between America and China. Yeoh’s stunts are insane.
25) TIFFANY CASE (Diamonds Are Forever – 1971)
“Keep leaning on that tooter… and you’re gonna get a shot in the mouth!”
Jill St. John plays the first American Bond Girl. Case is one link in an international diamond smuggling chain. When she first appears, she’s a brassy, opinionated, capable spitfire. Unfortunately, she’s reduced to a scantily-clad ditz who can’t operate a cassette player by the end of the movie.
24) SYLVIA TRENCH (Dr. No – 1962)
“I admire you’re luck, mister..?”
Eunice Gayson has the privilege to be the first woman whom Bond (Connery) interacts with on screen. Outside of M (Judi Dench) and Moneypenny, Trench is the only female character to appear in more than one Bond movie.
23) CAMILLE MONTES (Quantum of Solace – 2008)
“Touch me again and I’ll break your wrist!”
Olga Kurylenko plays Camille, a Bolivian secret agent on a mission to avenge the murder of her parents. Bond (Craig) never sleeps with her. Which is good because Camille isn’t that kind of Bond Girl. She is a mirror image of Bond at this stage in his life: doubtful, beaten, and full of rage. She helps Bond learn to trust again. And that is much more fulfilling to both characters than a roll in the sheets.
22) KARA MILOVY (The Living Daylights – 1987)
“You are… back-end of horse!”
After years of the female lead trying to be Bond’s equal, having one who is just an ordinary woman caught up in a game of international intrigue is a welcome change. Maryam d’Abo plays Milovy, a Soviet cellist who takes on the role of a sniper to help her boyfriend defect from Russia. Bond (Dalton) is supposed to kill her, but after seeing how beautiful she is, he deliberately misses. What transpires throughout this movie is the deepest relationship Bond takes on since On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
21) ELEKTRA KING (The World Is Not Enough – 1999)
“There’s no point in living if you can’t feel alive!”
Sophie Marceau plays the first-ever lead female villain. King is the brainwashed daughter of an oil tycoon, hellbent on killing M (Dench). While much of this movie is flat, the twist of King being the villain is definitely a high note. Her behind-the-scenes manipulation of everyone is devious.
20) SOLITAIRE (Live and Let Die – 1973)
“You have found yourself.”
Jane Seymour makes her acting debut as this psychic under the employ of drug kingpin Mr. Big/Dr. Kananga (Yaphet Kotto). Seymour’s poised, elegant demeanor and delivery are both sultry and spooky. If all tarot card readers were as beautiful.
19) OCTOPUSSY (Octopussy – 1983)
Maud Adams returns to the Bond franchise as the title character who smuggles jewels via her International Traveling Circus. The fact that Bond (Moore) killed her father years earlier puts them at odds. That changes when Octopussy’s partner in crime, Prince Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan), betrays her.
18) MAY DAY (A View To A Kill – 1985)
“Get Zorin for me!”
The franchise’s most memorable henchwoman prior to Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye. New Wave performance artist Grace Jones brings an exotic mystery to the bodyguard/assistant of Max Zorin (Walken), exemplified by her hair-dos and electric fashion. Zorin should not have double-crossed her.
17) DOMINO DERVAL (Thunderball – 1965)
“I’m glad I killed him.”
Former Miss France Claudine Auger beat out several of Hollywood’s most bankable starlets for this role, one of whom was Raquel Welsh. Domino is the “kept woman”, or mistress, of villain Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi). She has the distinction of being the only female character in the series to kill the main villain. And her Bahamas-water-blue evening gown Domino wears during the casino scene is stunning.
16) PAM BOUVIER (Licence To Kill – 1989)
“Listen, pal! I just saved your life! If it wasn’t for me your ass would be plastered all over that bar!”
Carey Lowell plays this CIA agent who teams up with Bond (Dalton) to bring down Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi), a Mexican drug lord. You want a tough-as-nails equal to Bond? Look no further than Bouvier. Her introduction, and subsequent tangle, in a Florida bar is proves it.
15) TATIANA ROMANOVA (From Russia With Love – 1963)
Italian actress Daniela Bianchi plays this Soviet cypher clerk unknowingly used by SPECTRE to draw out Bond (Connery) so he can be assassinated for killing Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman). Bianchi holds her own with Connery. Her awkward encounter with Colonel Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) will make your skin crawl. That scene pushes the limits for mainstream cinema in 1963.
14) DR. MADELEINE SWANN (SPECTRE – 2015)
Some may think Swann, portrayed by Lea Seydoux should be far lower on this list. On the contrary – her character is vastly important in shaping the Daniel Craig James Bond. She represents Bond’s second chance at the happiness denied him when he couldn’t rescue Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). He gives up everything for Swann. Whether or not that happiness lasts remains to be seen.
13) FIONA VOLPE (Thunderball – 1965)
“James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choir singing. She repents and immediately reverts to the side of right and virtue. But not this one.”
The original bad bitch Bond Girl. Every one after her is just playing for second place. Fiona is an agent tasked with killing a NATO commander so SPECTRE can steal two atomic weapons and use them to hold the world at ransom. It’s evident by her performance that Luciana Paluzzi relishes every one of her scenes. A true menace, more so than the film’s lead villain.
12) JILL MASTERSON (Goldfinger – 1964)
Shirley Eaton plays, perhaps, the most iconic Bond Girl ever. Certainly the image is most iconic. The gold-painted Eaton was plastered on the cover of hundreds of magazines to promote this movie. Bond (Connery) discovering the golden corpse never ceases to be shocking.
11) NATALYA SIMONOVA (GoldenEye – 1995)
“It makes you so cold. All the guns and the fighting, and for what? So you can be a hero? All the heroes I know are dead.”
Isabella Scorupco is one of the best modern day Bond Girls. Her Natalya isn’t a secret agent and doesn’t have a military background. She’s simply a computer programmer at the wrong place at the wrong time. As the only survivor of massacre at a Siberian space outpost, Natalya’s journey crosses paths with Bond (Brosnan). He needs her expertise to stop the stolen GoldenEye satellite before it destroys everything in the world that has an electric pulse. Natalya is one of the few Bond Girls who have a full character arc. She begins as a mousy computer worker and turns into a capable, independent woman.
10) MELINA HAVELOCK (For Your Eyes Only – 1981)
“I’m half-Greek. And Greek women, like Elektra, always avenge their loved ones.”
Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead could take a few crossbow pointers from Melina. As Melina, Carole Bouquet is hellbent on hunting down the bastard who murdered her parents. A mission she could accomplish even without Bond’s help.
9) COLONEL ROSA KLEBB (From Russia With Love – 1963)
“If you do you will be SHOT!”
Stage actress Lotte Lenya plays this Soviet/SPECTRE double agent with lesbian tendencies. Klebb is one of many cogs in a plot to kill Bond (Connery) for the death of Dr. No. Her task is to find the hitman and the unsuspecting broad who will lead Bond to his doom. She puts up a helluva fight with a pair of poison-tipped shoes.
8) XENIA ONATOPP (GoldenEye – 1995)
“I had to ventilate someone.”
Famke Janssen launched her career after playing this Russian psycho-hitwoman who’s method of killing involves crushing a man to death between her legs! What a way to go. Possibly the most iconic modern day Bond Girl. Actress Sela Ward auditioned to play Xenia, but her age (she was in her 40s at the time) was a hindrance. The most recent Bond movie featured a female love interest in her 50s. Times change.
7) HONEY RIDER (Dr. No – 1962)
“Stay where you are!”
The instant Ursula Andress walks out of the surf, she became the archetype of every future Bond Girl. Fierce, untrusting, and beautiful, Honey Rider (Honey-chile Rider in the novel) is the first in a long line of women in the wrong place at the wrong time who end up thrown into James Bond’s mission. Andress didn’t have much to do, but she made Honey iconic.
6) ANYA AMASOVA (The Spy Who Loved Me – 1977)
“Then, Commander, when this mission is over, I will kill you.”
Barbara Bach (Mrs. Ringo Starr) plays Anya, a major in the Soviet army who is ordered to team up with Bond (Moore) to find out who is stealing military submarines. Anya goes fist to titanium teeth with Jaws (Richard Kiel), treks through the desert in an evening gown, and infiltrates a monstrous frigate with the same confidence and ease as Bond. 007’s first true equal partner.
5) M (GoldenEye through Skyfall, 1995-2012)
“And how the hell could Bond be so stupid?! I give him Double-O status and he celebrates by shooting up an embassy. Is the man deranged?! And where the hell is he?! In the old days, if an agent did something so embarrassing they’d have the good sense to defect. Christ, I miss the Cold War.”
When Bond returned in 1995 after a six year hiatus, Judi Dench was cast as M. This introduced a prickly dynamic between Bond and M missing since the sparring matches of Sean Connery and Bernard Lee. The decision to make M a woman reflected the changing times. A woman was in charge of the real MI5, so taking M in that direction was an obvious decision. When the series was rebooted in 2006 with Casino Royale, M’s role was greatly expanded. She took on a sort of surrogate mother figure for Bond. This M helps to shape Bond into the iconic character known the world over.
4) MISS MONEYPENNY (Dr. No through SPECTRE, 1962-2015)
“You never take me to dinner dressed like that, James. You never take me to dinner period.”
Lois Maxwell was the first to play M’s long-time secretary who has lustful eyes for Bond. When Dalton was cast, the producers decided to recast Moneypenny. Maxwell wasn’t hurt. In fact, she thought the idea of her Moneypenny making googly-eyes at Dalton would be ridiculous. Caroline Bliss played the part opposite Dalton. Samantha Bond took over the role during the Brosnan era. When Moneypenny was reintroduced in the Daniel Craig series, Naomie Harris played her. Moneypenny was given a first name (Eve) and a backstory: a field agent who accidentally shoots Bond then takes a desk job, preferring to work behind the scenes.
3) TRACY BOND (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – 1969)
Teresa Di Vinchenzo is the only woman to marry James Bond (George Lazenby). Diana Rigg plays Tracy first as a petulant brat with a death wish. But as her relationship with Bond grows, her icy demeanor melts away. Their love is true and believable. Which makes it that much worse when Tracy is murdered minutes after marrying Bond. Rigg is still acting today. Most recently she was on HBO’s epic series Game of Thrones. Rigg’s performance as Tracy is often overlooked because of her pairing with one-and-done Lazenby. That’s a shame; Rigg and Lazenby have great chemistry. Give this one another watch.
2) PUSSY GALORE (Goldfinger – 1964)
“You can turn off the charm. I’m immune.”
The most risqué name for a Bond Girl, especially for the 1960s. Producers Albert “Cubby” Broccoli and Harry Saltzman fought to keep the name, which MGM executives wanted to change to “Kitty Galore”. Honor Blackman plays Pussy, who has the best defined character-arc out of the Connery Bond Girls. In the novel, Pussy is a lesbian. That is hinted at in the movie version, but takes a ridiculous turn when Bond sleeps with Pussy, thereby “converting” her to have attractions to men. Despite that bit of watering-down, Pussy Galore is one of the most iconic Bond Girls in the franchise.
1) VESPER LYND (Casino Royale – 2006)
“So there is a plan? Excellent. Somehow I got the impression we were risking ten million dollars and hundreds of people’s lives on a game of luck.”
The first Bond Girl in the novels. It’s only fitting that she be the first Bond Girl in the movies when the series was rebooted in 2006. Vesper is THE MOST important element in the shaping of Bond’s character. She’s why he treats women the way he does, why he doesn’t trust, and what drives him to do the kind of work he does.
Eva Green is brilliant as Vesper. Her cynicism, wit, snark, and intelligence dig under Bond’s skin and never let go. Everything is a game to her until she witnesses Bond kill the Ugandan warlord in the hotel stairwell. At that moment, she realizes the danger is real, that she’s caught in a devious plot that will only end in tragedy. Vesper will haunt Bond forever.
There you have it. Every main Bond Girl from worst to best. No doubt our opinions differ, but that’s what’s so great about film.
Up next, a list of the worst to best Bond villains.
2016 is a weird year. Even putting politics aside, it’s the year which bestowed Ouija: Origin of Evil, a Hasbro-owned board game movie, produced by Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes, that’s quite possibly one of the best horror movies you’ll see this year. In fact, upon reflection, it might honestly be my favorite. Wait, you’re telling me there’s a horror movie out right now that might be better than The Witch, Don’t Breathe, The Neon Demon and/or 10 Cloverfield Lane, and it’s based on that board game? Yes, Reader Speaking To Me Directly. That’s exactly what I’m saying.
It has been nearly one whole week since I’ve seen the film, a prequel to 2014’s rightfully forgotten Ouija, and yet it hasn’t escaped my mind. Like a spirit summoned from my fears lingering over my bed, there’s something truly, madly transfixing about this latest effort from Mike Flanagan, the director behind pretty good recent horror movies like Oculus and Hush, to name just a couple.
To be fair, the filmmaker-in-question has a knack for exceeding general expectations. Oculus, for instance, is a WWE-produced haunted mirror flick, not unlike 2008’s dumb Keifer Sutherland vehicle Mirrors, which is a richly creepy, often unsettling family drama under the gaze of a psychological nightmare. Hush, meanwhile, is a bottle flick where a deaf author must fend herself against an unknown stalker killer in the middle of the night. It’s not defied by its depth, yet Flanagan’s astute direction and clever writing, alongside lead actress Kate Siegel, produces a compelling, engrossing and sometimes heartbreaking character piece that just-so-happens to be a home invasion thriller at the same time. Perhaps you have any idea where I’m going.
Yes, Ouija: Origin of Evil largely centers around the century-old board game used to either summon spirits, pass the time between drunk, bored teenagers or an excuse for young couples to touch one another back in the olden days. Does it work? I wouldn’t know. I’m too scared to use it. Plus, I’m told you’re not supposed to play it alone. That’s among the few rules established by the game, either by Hasbro or someone else along the way, yet that’s also what builds this nicely-honed family drama, about a struggling single mother Alice Zander (Elizabeth Reaser) coming to terms with her husband’s unjust passing and the growing maturity of her two daughter, 15-year-old Lina (Annalise Basso) and nine-year-old Doris (Lulu Wilson).
There are spooky demons, demonic children, haunted houses, product licensing and a sexy priest (Henry Thomas) thrown in the mix. For the most part, however, Origin of Evil is a contemplative, emotionally gratifying dysfunctional family drama, laced with heart and insight. It’s more tender, communicative and emotionally earnest than you’d ever expect. The actors are subtle and their characters are well-grounded from the beginning. Even when they’re visited by Satan’s allies, the film never feels dishonest or emotionally bankrupt, and that’s partially what makes it so stunningly vivid. Their foundation is true, and therefore their relationship and the events surrounding it feel appropriately conveyed and often heartfelt in their conviction. Again, I’m talking about a movie that’s inspired by a popular board game and produced by the director of the Transformers movies. Everything about this movie shouldn’t not work, yet it does. It works handsomely, in fact.
Beyond the well-defined characters, Flanagan’s direction has never felt more assured and poised in his developing career. The 1976 production design is exquisite in its detail, and it only gets complimented further by Michael Fimognari’s arresting cinematography. I could also compliment the editing, the lighting, the tense original score by The Newton Brothers, but then I would spending paragraph after paragraph showering praise upon this movie, and I feel like I’ve done that already. I’m not going to call Ouija: Origin of Evil is a perfect movie, because it’s not. The plotting, the more it goes along, does take some silly turns for the worst, and it’s still pretty confusing what it’s trying to say from a commercial standpoint. Like, are you trying to sell a game that could kill my entire family, especially if I play it wrong? Is that the message you’re trying to convey, Hasbro? Message me and let me know.
Beyond its muddled message and its concerning last act reveals, in ways not intended, Ouija: Origin of Evil is an immersive, tense, menacing and, yes, often pretty funny PG-13 creepfest. It’s stylish. It’s engrossing. It’s effective. It certainly makes the original look shit seven ways to Sunday, but its awesomeness is found not merely in its execution. Even its presentation is impressive, with added cigarette burns appearing on the top of the screen, complimented by little shakes on the screen thereafter, to make it look like a ’70s movie theater experience, along with an old-fashioned Universal logo and equally traditional title card. Unlike many nostalgia-obsessed by-products of late, it’s not merely throwback for the sake of throwback. Its attention to time, place and mood provides a stirring look at our changing landscape, and the new era of commercial values trumping homegrown investment. It’s not merely a nod to the past; it’s a celebration of what we meant before, and how even a board game can present a reflection of oneself.
There’s so much more to celebrate in Ouija: Origin of Evil, but it’s best that you go and see it yourself. Based on the box office results, it looks like not too many people are seeking this one out, and that’s understandable. Like I mentioned before, it’s a horror prequel to a film that wasn’t all-that-hot in the first place. Initial trepidation is perfectly understandable, but now you don’t have an excuse. Make a point to check this one out not merely before it exits theaters, but before the end of the Halloween festivities. If nothing else, it’s the best film ever based on a board game and produced by Michael Bay. You can quote me on that one, Hasbro.
You’re probably asking yourself why a random scenery shot is the featured image for this review. Believe it or not, a Stand is shown in the picture. Can you find it? It’s name is Superfly, its controller is named Toyohiro Kanedachi, and it has the ability to return whatever damage it receives and turn people into metal statues. It quickly proves to be an intimidating force to be reckoned with. Even the shapeshifting Mikitaka isn’t able to be prepared for the power of Superfly.
The show seems to be moving towards its conclusion. As Josuke and Okuyasu take on Superfly, two other mysterious individuals approach different members of the Josuke’s team. It looks like Koichi and Josuke’s mom have already been abducted by the same individual. You’d think they would at least leave those without powers out of it. Unfortunately when it comes to final battles, no one is safe and everyone a character holds dear can be used against them.
The best part of this episode is how it is starting to get the tension and drama building as this arc of Jojo’s starts to work towards its ending. With the addition of Toyohiro Kanedachi’s Superfly, Stray Cat, the two yet to named assailants, and his father, Kira now has an army which he can use to eradicate Josuke and the gang. From here on fans will have to start worrying about who is going to make it out alive. Given how maniacal Kira can be and how much damage he was able to inflict last time there is a good chance not everyone will survive this season. With any luck though, Josuke will be there in time to heal those who need it but always remember he doesn’t have the ability to repair himself.
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable is streaming on Crunchyroll.
This series will be a brief, semi-comedic review of the CW superhero shows. You can check out last week’s review post here, or see the tally of winners below. The only shows discussed will be ‘Arrow’, ‘Flash’, and ‘Supergirl’. There WILL be some spoilers discussed, so only look at the reviews you’re up to date on!
Supergirl, “Welcome to Earth” (Oct. 24)
This week’s episode of Supergirl relies WAY too heavily on tropes. The alien/immigrant parallels are way too transparent & familiar to be impactful. Snapper Carr is despised by Cara and James for being good at his job. His anger makes sense, seeing as he’s getting talked down to by a newbie & a photographer. Maggie’s clearly a new love interest for Alex, but the street-smart cop routine feels basic. Likewise, Daxam Boy is a clear bad boy trope. The villain (who I’m calling Lava Girl) was also very bland. Why did she take Maggie as a hostage? The reveal of Miss Martian was a cool cliffhanger, to be sure. And Lynda Carter killed it as a brief authoritative cameo. Otherwise, it felt like a basic placeholder episode, with little to no intrigue.
SCORE: 6/10 Appletinis
The Flash, “The New Rouges” (Oct. 25)
CW lets The Flash take a break from the time-travel nonsense. Mirror Master feels a tad clunky, but he’s a new type of villain that feels welcome. Barry’s got a Speedy that’s actually Speedy, which is amusing. CW has a sidekick over-saturation problem, so thankfully she’s not hanging around. Along with her relationship with Wally, I’m glad she’s more of a cameo then a mainstay. Iris is shocked Joe is disgusted by his kids making out, which is confounding. Perhaps Joe’s budding relationship with the Commissioner will settle him down. The search for a new Harrison feels like a silly way to keep Tom Cavanagh in the mix. Especially considering we’ve now had a Harry swap every season. I’m sure some will appreciate the lighter tone, however, as that is the show’s trademark. And as far as staying on brand goes, this episode stays on target.
SCORE: 6.5/10 Harrisons
Arrow, “Penance” (Oct 26)
This episode of Arrow is rather bland. The majority of the episode is spent with characters telling Oliver how he shouldn’t break Diggle out. The rationale that he wants to pay for a crime he didn’t commit is supposedly enough to turn everyone against Oliver? And when Oliver does show up, it takes maybe a minute to change Diggle’s mind? It makes the whole conflict feel pointless. Additionally, we’re saddled with more Oliver/Rene conflict, and Green Arrow beating the recruits up. The new DA seems like prime misguided villain material. My favorite part of the episode was where I finally figured out New Canary’s going by Artemis. On top of Supergirl’s Miss Martian reveal, the episode gave me fun Young Justice nostalgia.
SCORE: 6/10 Rubber Balls
WEEKLY WIN TALLY:
Supergirl: 1.5 Weeks
The Flash: 1 Week
Arrow: 0.5 Weeks
What show did you think won the week? Does Legends of Tomorrow take your vote? Do you think A.o.S. or Gotham outshines all the CW shows? Let us know in the comments below!
Slasher movies were started by ‘Psycho‘ or ‘Peeping Tom‘ but ‘Halloween‘ skyrocketed the genre. This week’s Slasher Saturday has to be about the franchise starring Michael Myers. With 10 movies, a remake & a remake sequel, and a third movie that is totally off topic, ‘Halloween‘ is one of the wildest horror franchises. As recently as May 2016, original director John Carpenter has signed on to produce a new ‘Halloween‘ film produced by Miramax and Blumhouse. This will be the 11th film in the franchise and proves the longevity of the Michael Myers-led series.
Below are every ‘Halloween‘ movie ranked from worst to first!
Thank you for checking out the third installment of Slasher Saturday!
Next week will be the Pinhead-led ‘Hellraiser‘ franchise.
Do you agree with my rankings of the ‘Halloween‘ series?
Let me know in the comments below!
Hogtown Brewers, named in honour of Toronto‘s nickname derived from its noble history of pig rendering, began distributing their flagship Hogtown Ale in 2012. Hogtown’s website describes their mandate: they want to craft drinkable lagers with great flavour. Hogtown’s brew master was inspired by the German Kolsch style. I reviewed a Kolsch earlier this year. Unfortunately, today I didn’t have the appropriate glassware, and enjoyed mine from a large beer mug. Here’s what I thought.
To make this review spooky, just imagine that global warming threatens us all and there’s an orange monster running for the most powerful executive office in the world.
Hogtown Ale is a tawny golden colour with a thick layer of foam as I pour it into my glass mug. I smell apples as I take my first sip. The thick and fizzy mouthfeel brings out this ale’s semi-sweet caramel maltiness. Its mouthfeel also bridges the gap between this ale’s malty flavour and tart aftertaste.
This is a great ale to enjoy as you watch scary movies or hand out candy to children. Just don’t enjoy too many of them in one sitting. It’s definitely, as Hogtown’s website describes, a sessional ale. Very smooth, and surprisingly complex for an ale, it comes in at 5% ABV in a 473 mL can. Tasty as these beers are, don’t have too many of them or you’ll ruin your haunted house.
Hogtown Ale is a bit too sweet for my tastes. I’m guilty of being a hops sympathizer, though, so I miss the mouth-puckering bitterness of an IPA. I suggest enjoying Hogtown Ale with any pub food, like: burgers and fries, fish and chips, and chicken wings. And, with its tart aftertaste, this is also a great ale to enjoy with guacamole and chips.
It’s time for RiffTrax. Once again Michael Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy have come out to tackle a cheesy movie in the hopes of making fun of just how bad it is for the entertainment of the audience. This time around they decided take on the legendary terrible low-budget horror movie Carnival of Souls. Additionally they also decided to bring to shorts to the party. Was it as entertaining as previous entries? Sadly not so much.
This amusing short about a witch whose sole purpose is to get people dirty is just as entertaining as it sounds. As the trio pointed out, she has unlimited power to bend reality but decides to just get people covered with mud. What an amusing waste of powers.
Another entry from legendary production company ACI who actually believed their videos were helping to teach children anything. This time they point out the fun of using grass to make decorative masks. It’s hilarious to watch them mock and its fascinating this is the second video they made about grass. You’d think they couldn’t get it off their minds for some reason.
The main feature focused on a young girl who is the sole survivor of a car accident and decides to leave her hometown to become an organist. She soon finds she is being plagued by mysterious individuals who are covered gray body paint. Unfortunately all these mysterious individuals don’t look very frightening and for a film with the word Carnival in the title it doesn’t get more festive than dancing at your grandparents 50th wedding anniversary.
This film seemed to be reminiscent of an old joke from a Mystery Science Theater episode which of course is where these comedians got their start. In the episode “Hercules vs. The Moon Men.” there is a segment which became infamous by fans because it is known as the “Deep Hurting.” In in the film itself there is a period where several cast members find themselves lost in a sandstorm on the screen. This scene goes on for far too long and became known as deep hurting because even while watching it the guys didn’t have enough material to use to create comedy from so they found themselves grasping at straws and even pointed out how much suffering came from watching a scene which went on for far too long and essentially served no purpose.
This is the case with Carnival of Souls and is the main problem which can come from watching a movie for how bad it is. Sure the humor it was on point and intense but sometimes the film itself needs to bring some level of corny acting, over the top special effects, or inane plot points for it to be truly entertaining and give the team proper material to use for their comedy.
Frankly, Carnival of Souls is just a bit too bland. Thanks mostly to the fact the film focuses on actress Candace Hilligoss as Mary. Apparently after surviving the car accident she decides to shut herself up in the world and this means having little to no personality and staring off at the screen blankly and looking like a store mannequin. There’s a very entertaining joke about her being a robot which the audience found particularly amusing.
It always hurts to be so critical about this team. RiffTrax always brings their A-game and tried their hardest to bring entertainment to the people but unfortunately sometimes, despite how much effort they put into it just doesn’t make up for the fact the movie itself is boring and can sometimes be a trial to get through. The team made the movie a bit more entertaining but just a bit more. It was nowhere near as entertaining as previous entries such as their Reunion Show. In it they took on the director of this film, Heck Harvey’s other work, Shake Hands with Danger, which was much more entertaining than this film will ever be.
Rifftrax was presented by Fathom Events. An encore presentation will be shown on October 31st.
Not even the stars of the show can handle this, Danai Gurira included. Glenn’s death impacted all of us.
There is no way you don’t know what happened on the season premiere of The Walking Dead last week. If you actually don’t, congrats. You live under the biggest rock in America.
The world has been shook by not only one, but two deaths in one episode. Not only were they unexpected (by those who don’t read the comics) but they were down and dirty. Called the most graphic death scenes in the history of television, both Abraham and Glenn fell to their death by Negan’s baseball bat.
Gurira posted a wonderful tribute to Glenn, Steven Yeun, on her Facebook page.
“So I’ve been in denial,” she wrote. “The thought, the notion of losing Glen as a character in the show and Steven Yeun as a colleague is something I am yet to fully wrap my mind around. Steven was to me, from the very start, that deeply specific indicator that I was in the right place as I entered the TWD realm. The minute I was cast, he was in touch, inviting me to a lunch he and Lauren organized and trying to come watch my play The Convert which was then in production. Once I made it to GA, he helped me figure out where to stay, even letting me crash in his place over a weekend as I scouted out this new terrain called Atlanta.”
Both her Facebook and Twitter were full of nothing but love for both Glenn, the character, and Yeun as a person.
Losing Glen as a character in #TWD & @steveyeun as a colleague is something I am yet to fully wrap my mind around. https://t.co/ANUFiAIdqI pic.twitter.com/qhmUinmIiP
— Danai Gurira (@DanaiGurira) October 28, 2016
Gurira goes on to express all of her emotions, denial, rage, sadness, while expressing hopes of success to Yeun in all his new endeavors.
“I am so excited, however, to watch his journey continue to unfold, he is designed to break barriers, to fill the world with stories that must and have yet to be told.”
‘The Walking Dead’ airs Sunday nights at 9/8c on AMC.
Green Arrow sharing the screen with Green Lantern? Not quite yet.
‘Arrow’ has never been shy about giving shout outs to others from the DC Universe, even incorporating other universes into their timeline.
Small mentions here and there of Coast City, Hal Jordan, and Carly Pope walking in as Susan Williams, has made the fans wonder, could we actually get a visit from Green Lantern?
According to my source, Wendy Mericle, executive producer of ‘Arrow’ talks about Pope’s entrance, and the Green Lantern:
“One of the fun parts of the show is that you can put these characters in and the Easter eggs and the fans that know this universe so well respond to it on varying levels of excitement and whatnot, but the thing about her character that’s so intriguing is that it operates on that level. It also operates because she’s someone who’s very intrigued by Oliver, who’s going to uncover some secrets that Oliver has, which is going to be really fun, and is a fun nod to the Green Lantern, who obviously we could never bring on the show.”
With the Green Lantern Corps movie already being talked about, they don’t want to put too much out there just yet.
Not to mention the terrible reviews from the Ryan Reynolds ‘Green Lantern.’ Yikes. Just Yikes.
Currently airing season five of the super hero show, it doesn’t look like it’s slowing down. With the ever so popular cross-over episodes, and an ass kicking story line, ‘Arrow’ still has a lot of life in it.
Maybe a life that will eventually bring Hal Jordan to Star City? Something we as fans unfortunately must wait for.
‘Arrow’ Stars Stephen Amell, David Ramsey, Willa Holland, Emily Bett Rickards, and Paul Blackthorne.
‘Arrow” airs Wednesday nights at 8/7c on The CW.
