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Road to Batman v Superman: Superman Doomsday

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Superman Doomsday is a loose, animated adaptation of The Death of Superman story that came out in the 90s. If you haven’t read that story, Kal El, fights a Kryptonian monster named Doomsday to save the world, but in the process he dies, and much of the comic is what happens after he dies. This movie is specifically condensed to Clark Kent’s supporting cast, and is a different take on the story of the Man of Steel’s death. It has the similar beats, and a lot of the same emotional weight, but is it as good as the story that rocked the world in 1992?

The animation is just gorgeous, as with most Warner Bros. DC animated productions. Not only do all the characters have unique designs, but they all move in a fluid way. It’s a cartoon-like style, but detailed and unique. The fight scenes are epic and the scope of the production is massive, metropolis feels like a real place. It’s mainly 2D animation, which is refreshing to see in this CGI excessive market. The voice acting is also on point, a lot of fun actors playing great iconic roles. Adam Baldwin and Anne Heche play a great Clark Kent and Lois Lane. The only one that’s a little odd, is James Marsters playing Lex Luthor. Marsters chooses to be almost sexual in his delivery, and some of his lines are just weird. But, it’s a minor detail, and the film smartly doesn’t focus on him.

Too close. Too close!

The character that gets the most attention is Lois Lane, and the film follows her as she deals with the grief of her lover’s death. It also focuses on how Lex Luthor feels cheated, Jimmy Olsen feels abandoned, and the slow decent into crime happening in Metropolis. The film’s focus on grief is handled well, and there are some genuinely touching moments that might jerk a tear or two out. The dialogue can be stilted, but when it works, it really works. However, there are some scriptual issues that just can’t be ignored.

“Can’t one of you guys start marching around Gotham before you get here? We just fixed the city from the last monster that came in.”

The movie is so condensed that it feels like it’s rushing through the story beats, and this wouldn’t be too much of a problem if the movie knew when to slow down. But, it doesn’t it just keeps moving when it should allow the audience to be in the moment and comprehend the idea of Superman’s death. There’s also the story element of the clone of Superman who comes in halfway toward the movie, and his character arc is also sped up with poor results. He starts trying to create a more totalitarian viewpoint, but it just feels out of left field. We know he’s supposed to be messed up, but it could have had some more time dedicated to it. Also, for a movie called Superman Doomsday, we see very little of the Kryptonian monster that kills the Man of Tomorrow. But, then again, he’s not the focus of the film, Lois Lane and loss in general.

However, since Doomsday is going to be in Batman v Superman it feels necessary to talk about his role here, and be forewarned because I’m about to commit some superhero heresy. I don’t think Doomsday is that interesting a character, and this movie reinforces that idea for me. Doomsday is just a mindless killing machine in every story he’s in, and in this movie all he does is destroy. This makes him an exciting physical threat for Superman, but that’s it. And in the comics his only real merit is that he managed to kill Clark Kent; he’s just a walking natural disaster, sure it’s fun to see heroes figure out how to stop him, but in the end he’s not what makes a story interesting. He is just a plot device to show us a world without Superman. Doomsday himself doesn’t have anything worth talking about, it’s what he does that’s worth discussion. But, in this movie, and in all the other adaptations he is just a mindless beast.

Admittedly, he does look like the result of Michelangelo having sex with the cave troll from Lord of the Rings.

It baffles me that people think the new movie is ruining the character Doomsday, there wasn’t much of a character to ruin. I completely understand the criticism that they revealed him way too early in the trailers, but don’t complain that it’s sacrilege to change-up the origin story of a mindless monster, or use him as the mindless monster for the Trinity’s first meeting. There have been other interpretations of Doomsday that are much different from the comics, and it seems that people were just upset about the Batman v Superman one, because people like to complain. And if you really feel that Doomsday is being ruined then watch Superman Doomsday and ask yourself, what does he offer in the grand scheme of things that no other classic comic book villain can’t?

If you disagree with me, let me know in the comments, and feel free to send me all your hate mail to tell me how much I suck.

Back to the movie at hand, this is a fun movie, but not DC animated’s best work. It’s worth a watch though just for the stellar voice casting and excellent animation. There are some great scenes worth talking about, and some fun moments that make it worth the rental. Let us know what you think about this movie in the comments below, and next time we look at one of the greatest adaptations ever made, The Dark Knight Returns.

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Movie vs. Script: ‘Victor Frankenstein’

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Be warned, we will delve into spoilers in this piece.

Victor Frankenstein was a failure at the box office and critically lambasted. I would say that unfairly so to an extent. It’s an entertaining movie with great production design and solid cinematography. James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe are great together.  Yet, it does fall short. It seems to promise a great twist on the Frankenstein mythos, but we hardly get any of that. It’s a short breeze of a movie. It comes and goes, and we are left thinking: That’s it?

Writer Max Landis had touted this script as the one he was the most proud of. It has been available on the internet for some time, so how is it that the film ruined a good script?  Both the film and the script are quite similar in a lot of aspects. But while the movie starts with Victor meeting Igor at a circus, the script gives us a bit more time to get to know him. We see more of his mistreatment at the circus and get a bigger idea of his relationship between him and Lorelei. She gives him books and looks after him , in contrast to the rest of the troupe who only bully him.

After that, things stay quite the same. But Landis writes in a tone of grandeur and exaggeration that the movie doesn’t capture. It would’ve helped to have included some of the funnier bits of dialogue, such as one funny bit where Victor and Igor drunkenly imagine the sort of creatures they could create together. In both the film and the script, a subplot follows inspector Turpin on the trail of Victor’s corpse robberies. In the film, Turpin comes across as near-superhuman with his ability to connect the dots on instinct. The script allows more moments with him where he collects hard evidence and interviews witnesses. It makes much more logical and dramatic sense.

There is also the question of the ending which is very different from the final film.  In the script, Victor builds the creature and it goes berserk. In the process, the creature kills Turpin and Victor resurrects him. This causes Turpin to do a complete turn-around; he no longer views Victor as a heretic, instead, he sees his value and lets him go. This is a far more interesting ending than the one in the final film where  Turpin just dies, followed by a fight with the monster. In addition, the final fight in the script allows for moments that bring it closer to the imagery of Frankenstein we’ve come to know.

But, both the film and the script suffer from a character development problem. Landis has gone on to say that his biggest inspiration for the script was the work of Aaron Sorkin. Two friends working on a revolutionary invention? Sounds a bit Social Network. But what Landis seems to have forgotten was that in that film, we saw a friendship fall apart on the basis of ambition and greed. The problem with Victor and Igor’s friendship in the script and the film is a lack of stakes. They have their differences, but they are quickly resolved. Their low-point comes in the transition into the third act where they come apart. But before that, seeing them get closer to each other doesn’t provide enough drama. How do they truly differ from each other? How do they complement each other? We get an idea about Igor’s plight if he loses Victor.  But what kind of danger Victor is in without Igor, especially since Igor hardly keeps him in check?  This needed to be a more conflicted friendship to build into something  more dramatic.

Victor Frankenstein probably didn’t deserve the mauling it got, the movie has a lot of good qualities and it’s enjoyable, it almost works. But if it had followed the script it would’ve stood out more. The script however, at least in the drafts that are available to read, needed a bit more punch. As it is, maybe time will be kinder to Victor Frankenstein but it’s doubtful that we will see the film envisioned in the script. If you want to make up your own mind about the movie, you can get it here.

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Teams Are Revealed in Marvel’s New ‘Civil War II’ Images

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Marvel has been teasing the upcoming Civil War II all over social media lately, and today they finally revealed the teams.

Little is known about the event, scheduled to debut in June of this year. Writer Brian Michael Bendis and Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso gave only a brief synopsis to the New York Daily News back in January:

“A mysterious new Marvel character comes to the attention of the world, one who has the power to calculate the outcome of future events with a high degree of accuracy,”

“This predictive power divides the Marvel heroes on how best to capitalize on this aggregated information, with Captain Marvel leading the charge to profile future crimes and attacks before they occur, and Iron Man adopting the position that the punishment cannot come before the crime.”

Check out the new teasers below:

Team Iron Man

Civil War II Team Iron Man

Team Captain Marvel

Civil War II Team Cap

There are a couple of interesting things of note in these teasers:

  • Friends are broken apart in spades. Steve Rodgers and Sam Wilson are on opposing sides, as are Black Widow and Hawkeye, and War Machine and Iron Man.
  • Spider-Man looks to be siding with Captain Marvel right away, having learned his lesson from trusting Tony in the first Civil War series.
  • Black Panther is choosing a side from the start. During the first Civil War, T’Challa abstained for most of the fighting.
  • Deadpool is apparently political now.

Keep in mind that these may not be the complete teams. Marvel has shared other teaser images for Civil War II that also feature Jean Grey and Miles Morales, neither of whom appear on the teams above.

Stay tuned to Monkeys Fighting Robots as more news becomes available!

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Agents of SHIELD Season 3: “The Inside Man” Recap and Review

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Inside Man
Manifold may be the new powered addition to Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD

A Recap of “The Inside Man”

This week’s episode of Agents of SHIELD, “The Inside Man,” introduced a couple of new elements to the show as it nears the end of its third season. One of these was the show’s re-introduction of a character who originally appeared in Marvel Comics, Carl Creel the Absorbing Man. Shrewd viewers may have also noticed the brief appearance of the name of another character who originally appeared in the comics, Eden Fesi also known as Manifold. And, we saw Zombie-Ward regain his full bodily strength by somehow absorbing the life force of five random folks. Interesting plot developments, let’s review how we got there.

Under the guise of an international meeting of minds over the Inhuman issue, Coulson and Talbot along with Agents May, Morse, and Hunter gather information on the delegates in order to determine if any of them are the “inside man” working with Gideon Malick, and by extension Hydra. Determining the double-crosser is especially important to Director Coulson who wants Malick to face charges for the assassination of Rosalind Price.

Unfortunately for Coulson, the inside man turns out to be General Talbot who sells Coulson out to protect his Inhuman son, trapped in a stasis pod that could have its life support system cut at any moment should Malick give the word.

While all this is going on, Simmons, Fitz, Daisy, and Lincoln determine that Creel’s blood can be used as a vaccine against terrigenesis, the process by which people become Inhumans. Anyone with even a passing interest in the X-Men is familiar with this kind of plot line: if there’s a cure, it’s going to be controversial. And it is! Lincoln and Daisy, who almost got coital in the workout room earlier in the episode, get in an overblown philosophical debate over the implications of a cure.

Back at the conference, Talbot’s double-cross isn’t going to plan. Malick has taken Coulson and Talbot captive and refuses to release Talbot’s son. Luckily for Talbot, May, Hunter, and Morse are able to rescue Talbot’s son. Malick escapes but as we find out later, Morse and Hunter are tailing him on a private jet to Russia. He shares the jet with Ivan Petrov, who previously in the episode suggested that an Inhuman sanctuary be built in Russia.

My Critique of “The Inside Man”

Inside Man
Namor and the original Human Torch were in the 1st-ever powered altercation between heroes

As far as Agents of SHIELD goes, this wasn’t a bad episode. I still can’t wrap my brain around why the show is taking so long to get going with its new incarnation of Grant Ward but at least the relatively boring period of his regaining strength is coming to an end. Although Malick is a good behind-the-scenes baddie, at the end of the day he’s an unpowered older dude. So, although Powers Boothe has great presence onscreen, there’s only so far his jowly bluster can go before one inevitably starts to wonder why Daisy doesn’t just vibrate him to death. Hopefully Zombie-Ward will fill the void and provide the audience with a powered villain now that Agents of SHIELD has started its superhuman arms race, both Hydra and SHIELD amassing Inhuman armies to fight for their interests. I’m hoping that having a few more powered characters around on the show will increase the likelihood of there being of powered altercations. And, although powered altercations increase the effects budget of a show, they also help to make a show like this more fun to watch.

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I Gave Her My Heart, She Gave Me a Pen: John Cusack’s 10 Greatest Roles

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John Cusack has, over his 30 plus year career, defined the lovable Rom-Com Good Guy. His soft features and just slightly geeky idiosyncrasies have made him the big screen spokesman for the “cool nerds” who find themselves pining after the girl and fighting their way out of the friend zone. But let’s not pigeonhole John Cusack, who has stepped away from his lovable pre-hipster persona over the years to tackle genre films, straight dark comedies, dramas, and one seriously captivating Charlie Kaufman film.

Whether he’s blasting Peter Gabriel, searching for the killer, skiing for the girl, or being dumped in a ditch on the New Jersey Turnpike, John Cusack has remained forever watchable, endlessly charming even in his more sinister turns. Here are his 15 greatest performances:

John Cusack - the Ice Harvest

10. The Ice Harvest – One of a handful of John Cusack’s incredibly overlooked roles is this Harold Ramis whiz bang caper comedy. Cusack plays Charlie Arglist, a scummy lawyer who, with the help of his even scummier partner Vic (Billy Bob Thornton), have embezzled $2 million and are looking to skip town. Charlie wants his strip club owner girlfriend to take off with him, but an ice storm derails these best laid plans. The Ice Harvest is a somewhat standard, but charming, comedy of errors evolving into a high-energy escape film with a dozen plates in the air. And Cusack shows off one of his greatest strengths as an actor: his bottled-up frustration with the chaos surrounding him.

John Cusack - Identity

9. Identity – Cusack left all his Rom-com charm behind for Identity, a straightforward genre thriller with a narrative structure that is anything but straightforward. Don’t bother digging into the logic of the film, just enjoy the ride. Cusack is one member of an all-star cast of undercard stars, from Ray Liotta, to Amanda Peet, to Jake Busey, John Hawkes, John C. McGinley, Rebecca De Mornay, and Alfred Molina. A collection of travelers are stranded at a seedy motel in the middle of a serious storm, and before long they are picked off one-by-one. Something sinister is at play here, and again Cusack is playing the steady center of whirling madness.

John Cusack - Con Air

8. Con Air – How can you leave a movie off John Cusack’s list where the guy had the balls to roll into a Jerry Bruckheimer film wearing sandals with socks? Sure, Con Air is Nicolas Cage’s movie, and John Malkovich’s movie, and on and on as we check off the impressive list of convicts aboard this doomed aircraft. But Cusack’s Vince Larkin is the Cusack persona from those 80s teen movies all grown up and given an honest gig. And without his snarky insight on the ground, nobody would have gotten anything done to help Cameron Poe land these prisoners. And he’s wearing sandals with socks!

John Cusack - Say Anything...

7. Say Anything… – Cameron Crowe’s directorial debut is half a great film, half an okay film that gets lost in the weeds of a less interesting subplot. Cusack is Lloyd Dobler, and this is the role that cemented his status as the lovable “Other Guy.” Dobler is not the Most Popular, he isn’t The Most Likely to Succeed, he’s simply the guy everyone thinks is “kinda cool.” He has his beliefs, he marches to the beat of his own drum, and his uniqueness eventually makes its mark on Diane. His romance with Ione Skye’s Diane is honest, true, but eventually overloaded with saccharine charm in the film’s most iconic Peter-Gabriel’d boombox moment. If only Crowe hadn’t become so preoccupied with Diane’s father and his legal troubles…

John Cusack - the Grifters

6. The Grifters – Another criminally overlooked Cusack gem has him playing two sides of a con game, one involving his estranged mother (Angelica Huston), and the other his girlfriend, Myra (Annette Bening). Once again it is Cusack in the middle of a whirlwind, able to charm his way in and out of situations. Stephen Frears’ film is put together as efficiently as a Swiss Watch, and Cusack’s rapid-fire dialogue delivery is on full display. And, somehow, Cusack was left out of the Oscar nominations that year when both his female costars nabbed nominations.

John Cusack - Love & Mercy

5. Love & Mercy – Here was another time when John Cusack flirted on the edges of an Oscar nomination. Love & Mercy, the story of troubled Beach Boys frontman Brian Wilson, was arguably more Paul Dano’s film than Cusack’s, and Dano was given the meatier portion of Wilson’s extended nervous breakdown. Cusack plays the singer in the 80s, already broken and under constant supervision of an unsavory Doctor. It is a heartbreaking dual turn from Dano and Cusack, and Cusack’s version of Wilson shows him falling in love in his darkest days.

John Cusack - Better Off Dead

4. Better Off Dead – Here is where John Cusack became John Cusack. He is Lane Myer, who is dumped early on because his girlfriend thinks it would be in her best interest to date someone more popular, maybe better looking. Maybe someone who drives a better car. Somebody like the captain of the ski team. It’s the defining plight of the “Cusackian” character, being tossed aside for the jock. This drives Lane into thinking up creative ways to off himself. Better Off Dead spins out of control in gleefully 80s ways, from a mom with terrible cooking, to a wacky neighbor, to an annoying paperboy, to an eventual ski race where Lane sees a chance to win his woman back.

John Cusack - high Fidelity

3. High Fidelity – The Cusack Brand is given an introspective makeover in High Fidelity, as Cusack’s Rob Gordon, a record store owner, speaks directly to the audience about his past loves and the nutcase who run his record store. Rob Gordon was a hipster before hipsters were a thing, pining over lost loves and holding them up agains the music that was prevalent in his life at the time. This is one of the most balanced films in Cusack’s career, funny and poignant and full of energy.

John Cusack - being John Malkovich

2. Being John Malkovich – Craig Schwartz is an out of work puppeteer with a homely wife (Cameron Diaz) – who has a pet monkey. Sure, that might be odd, but consider the rest of the story: Craig gets a job with a man who’s apparently well over 100-years old at an office that’s a half floor in a building. A half floor. At this job he pines over a sexy coworker (Catherine Keener) and finds a portal that takes you into the mind and POV of John Malkovich. Charlie Kaufman’s screenplay, directed by Spike Jonze, is one of the most unusually inventive movies ever made, and Cusack plays Craig as a scumbag we still can’t help but root for in the end.

Johnn Cusack - Grosse Point Blank

1. Grosse Point Blank – George Armitage’s comedy thriller hybrid stars Cusack as an assassin who must travel to his hometown to wipe out a target. It just so happens that it’s his 10-year reunion. Cusack is pitch perfect as Martin Blank, and this is his best teaming with Jeremy Piven back when Piven was an ace sidekick before he turned into Ari Gold. And Minnie Driver as the love interest is another spot on casting choice. Grosse Point Blank subverts the 80s high school comedies that made Cusack so popular by having him infiltrate this homogenized universe as a cold-blooded killer. And Cusack plays a killer like you would expect: “Hi. I’m, uh, I’m a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I – and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men’s group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I’m Martin Blank, you remember me? I’m not married, I don’t have any kids, but I’d blow your head off if someone paid me enough.”

 

 

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Top 5 Actors to Replace Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man

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Iron Man kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe in 2008, and changed the world of superhero movies forever. The film’s success was due largely in part to Robert Downey Jr.’s portrayal of Tony Stark, a performance which has been universally praised. Many fans consider RDJ to be the real life Tony Stark, because he’s managed to capture the character so perfectly.

Unfortunately, Downey has recently made it sound like Avengers: Infinity War will end his tenure as the Iron Avenger.

Marvel Studios has previously stated that they do not want to do reboots, but rather plan to replace their actors and seamlessly move forward, à la James Bond. Now, no one can do Downey’s Iron Man as good as Downey, but surely someone can put their own special twist on the role. So if Tony must be recast, probably in about 5 or 6 years, who can fill his fine Italian shoes?

Here are the Top 5 options, in no particular order…

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal’s career is on an upswing right now. His performance in Nightcrawler was award worthy, and it proved that this man has a tremendous ability to act. After playing a sociopath like Louis Bloom, an egomaniac like Tony Stark should be a walk in the park. Plus, he’s got that dark, rugged look, the one that a troubled hero needs.

Iron Man is a leader first and foremost, and Gyllenhaal looks like someone that can inspire people when the chips are down.

Colin Farrell

Colin Farrell

Take away the earrings from the photo above, and Colin Farrell is a dead ringer for Tony Stark. But being Tony is about more than just the looks. Farrell exudes the confident, bad boy vibe that the billionaire playboy needs. And like Gyllenhaal, he looks like someone who can rally the troops when needed.

He looks like he could charm the pants off a nun, but also looks dangerous enough to make you somewhat wary upon meeting him. If that doesn’t say “Stark,” I don’t know what does.

Matt Bomer

Matt Bomer

Bomer is probably the least recognizable actor on this list, but maybe that’s what the character needs. Downey used to be a big name, but he had faded into obscurity by the time Iron Man was announced. That’s what made his success so impactful. Bomer could deliver that same impact; many people wouldn’t be sure what to expect, so they’d be that much more likely to accept his portrayal.

He played a con artist on White Collar, which earns him two points of credibility: he can play a sly, devious man, and he wears a mean suit.

Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling

How has Ryan Gosling not played a superhero yet? The dude looks tailor-made to play with the Avengers. He’s charming, he’s got both dramatic and comedic acting chops, and he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Sure, the blonde hair may give the look of a Captain America, but Gosling’s got the spunk of an Iron Man, and matching Tony’s personality is way more important than matching his looks.

If you’re still skeptical, watch The Big Short and see how perfectly he can play a smug rich dude who couldn’t care less what people think about him.

Orlando Bloom

Orlando Bloom

Bloom has certainly already established himself as a franchise player, and as someone who can simultaneously blend in and stand out as part of an ensemble cast. He has sailed the seven seas, and he has fought on the battlefields of Middle Earth. The MCU seems like the next logical step in his career. Plus, the man has the range necessary to capture the nuances of Tony Stark’s character.

Then he would just need to land a role in a Star Wars movie and he could finally be crowed The Franchise King.

Honorable Mention: Dominic Cooper

Dominic Cooper

Why not? Cooper plays Tony’s father Howard Stark in the MCU, most notably in the Agent Carter TV series. He’s got the Stark persona down pat, and he has an uncanny resemblance to RDJ to boot. It would be a strange and risky move for sure, but fortune favors the bold.

Who is YOUR pick to replace Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark? Let us know in the comments! Just remember to keep an open mind, and remember how skeptical people were about RDJ himself before Iron Man came out.

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‘The Legend of Tarzan’ Trailer #2 is Big and Promising

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The second trailer for The Legend of Tarzan, the first full trailer, shows a massive-scale film loaded with CGI and rife with acting talent – the least of whom might be Tarzan himself, Alexander Skarsgård. It might end up being grew-screen overload in the end, but this trailer is oddly compelling, despite the fact I’ve seen all of this before.

Here goes:

Here is the official synopsis:

From Warner Bros. Pictures and Village Roadshow Pictures comes the action adventure “The Legend of Tarzan,” starring Alexander Skarsgård (HBO’s “True Blood”) as the legendary character created by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

The film also stars Oscar nominee Samuel L. Jackson (“Pulp Fiction,” the “Captain America” films), Margot Robbie (“The Wolf of Wall Street”), Oscar nominee Djimon Hounsou (“Blood Diamond,” “Gladiator”), Oscar nominee John Hurt (“The Elephant Man,” the “Harry Potter” films), with Oscar winner Jim Broadbent (“Iris”), and two-time Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz (“Inglourious Basterds,” “Django Unchained”).

It has been years since the man once known as Tarzan (Skarsgård) left the jungles of Africa behind for a gentrified life as John Clayton III, Lord Greystoke, with his beloved wife, Jane (Robbie) at his side.Now, he has been invited back to the Congo to serve as a trade emissary of Parliament, unaware that he is a pawn in a deadly convergence of greed and revenge, masterminded by the Belgian, Captain Leon Rom (Waltz).But those behind the murderous plot have no idea what they are about to unleash.

The gorillas don’t quite look as good as the Planet of The Apes films, but there’s still time to refine any effects in The Legend of Tarzan. But this looks like a solid action adventure film, almost like a more adult companion piece to Jon Favreau’s The Jungle Book adaptation.

The Legend of Tarzan hits theaters July 1.

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Review: ‘The Divergent Series: Allegiant’ Is Not Worth Following

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Handsomely made but devoid of any resemblance of humanity, The Divergent Series: Allegiant is a wielded-out, hollow shell of a movie. Its only mission in life is to bore as many people as it possibly can.

Summit’s painfully pathetic, flat-out desperate attempt to gain the worldwide phenomenon popularity of spent YA teenage action-adventure sagas like Harry Potter, Twilight and, most recently, The Hunger Games, the Divergent franchise has remained a limp, uncreative slog of a film series since day one. There’s little-to-no emotional investment in these characters, the tropes were already worn-out well before part one came to the screen and every plot point feels predictable or played-out beyond repair at this point. It’s a waste of everyone’s time and effort; it’s the cinematic embodiment of a failing student furiously scribbling in answers to his final exam well after the dismissal bell has rung. Allegiant is a measly, pitiful excuse for a movie —one with a hundred-something million-dollar price tag, no less — that spends more time justifying its worth than developing anything worthy, entertaining or original. The Divergent Series truly reaches the pinnacle of its infuriating dullness (at least thus far) with this meandering excuse for a third film.

It’s a slippery slope of diminishing returns at this point, quite honestly. There’s nothing about Allegiant that hasn’t been seen before, or done better at this point. There’s no complexity to its themes, no depth or hard-hitting political commentary to its message. It comes across like fan-fiction written by a sixth grader. That it somehow got a Hollywood production is disgraceful, and its embarrassing to watch all these extremely talented actors — including Shailene Woodley, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort, Naomi Watts, Octavia Spencer and Jeff Daniels — degrade themselves trying to make anything worthwhile out of a movie that’s solely a contractual obligation on everyone’s part. It’s hard to imagine what made Summit want to continue putting Veronica Roth’s best-selling book series onto the big screen, since nobody musters up any sense of pride or passion in their work. This movie is as stiff and flaccid as a blockbuster can possibly get these days — one where you never, for a second, forget you’re just watching a bunch of people walking around reacting to green screens where, eventually, VFX effects that are merely-acceptable-at-best will be slap-dashed on.

I imagine watching The Divergent Series: Allegiant is not dissimilar to how aliens would feel if they were watching a telecommunication of human behavior on their alien monitors in outer space. The flat, monotone presentation of the film, laced with little effort on anyone’s part to make these characters talk or sound like living-breathing people, provides a sobering, alienating comatose state. It draws your attention to the little things like how bad the background extra are, the shallowness of the sets or the alluring smell of donuts that mysterious wafts over you in the theater because nothing at the center of the frame is anything close to interesting or appealing.

Robert Schwentke, the man who also directed Allegiant’s insufferable predecessor Insurgent last year, returns to make yet another uninspired, disinterested, wholly bland installment. Any attempt to make something visually interesting or emotionally invested are completely drained out of this series’ system at this point. It’s as if they know nobody is the wee bit invested in our main characters or the struggles they face in their dystopian future, and they just decided to throw up their hands, make a shiny, thematically vacant dullard that’ll appeal to the studio and call it a day.

Normally I’d delve into a plot synopsis or something around now, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin at this point. Again, I can’t stress this enough, this is such a meandering, meticulously uninviting film. It never, ever lets you get invested in the action, the suspense, the mystery or the non-existent excitement of it all. If this soulless sequel refuses to care, so will I. As Allegiant prattles on in an endless tirade of sterile, consequence-free action, it practically dares you to try not to fall asleep. The guy sitting next to me, along with several other people in the theater, couldn’t pass the test. With four hours of rest in my system, and zero motivation to get involved with the threadbare mechanics of the plot, I wish I could say I joined them.

But I wanted to keep my integrity, just so I could write this review. I think I made a horrible, horrible mistake. What am I doing with my life? Seriously, what am I even doing at this point?

Maybe I’m just getting too old for YA adaptations. But I really, truly have nothing against them. I usually give them the benefit of the doubt, at least. Every once-in-a-while you’ll find a pretty good one, like Beautiful Creatures for instance. While I’m sick of everyone, their brother and their mother trying too hard to make whatever licensed property they own become the next big thing, usually they make an admirable effort to stand out against the tide, or make something that’s, you know, worth all the mythos and world-building they produce on-screen. But with seemingly little-to-no desire to respect Roth’s source material or any fans she has at this point, it’s bewildering why Summit would have the persistence — scratch that, the gull — to have The Divergent Series hobble and trench its way to the finish line. Where most unsuccessful wannabe-franchise igniters call it quits after they fall down the first time, the Divergent series — like its poorly defined characters — continues to rail against popular opinion and fight the good fight. It would be admirable if —much like the Atlas Shrugged’s pitiful attempt to build a trilogy — it didn’t mean we had to watch more and more of these godawful sequels.

I’m not going to pretend The Divergent Series: Allegiant doesn’t have its strengths. There are some impressive action scenes here, with some good choreography performed dutifully and surprisingly well by co-star Theo James. Though every image lacks any texture or weight, it looks nice-enough, and also the cast provide admirable attempts to make the material much better than it has any right to be. Daniels and Woodley are the standouts here, bringing a respectable gravitas that certainly wasn’t ever found in the adapted screenplay by Noah Oppenheim, Adam Cooper and Bill Collage. There’s also one visually-interesting scene involving Woodley’s character seeing the world through the eyes of her late mother, played by Ashley Judd, that’s fairly involving. Not to mention one or two action beats towards the end, particularly one in a hovercraft that’s almost, dare I say, rousing in its execution. But now I’m truly picking at straws.

When the only things that get you the least bit excited for your movie are Daniels’ abbreviated presence and the faint promise of artistic nudity, you know you’re in deep trouble. And quite frankly, there’s no reason why a cast this talented and a budget this steep should produce something this listless, commonplace and unimaginative. At this point, I really don’t know if there was any way to make this third Roth adaptation good. It’s dug into a hole too deep to climb out of, it seems, and there’s no way the next film can make anything worthwhile or engaging with what they’re given. To salvage any interest towards this entirely disposable franchise is just a losing battle at this point. If anyone swore allegiance to The Divergent Series before, they’ll seek refuge elsewhere long before it comes time for Allegiant to call it quits.

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Check Out The Brand New ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ Trailer

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Here’s what you have all been waiting for, A brand new X-Men: Apocalypse trailer.

Director Bryan Singer returns with X-Men Apocalypse. Since the dawn of civilization, he was worshiped as a god. Apocalypse, the first and most powerful mutant from Marvel’s X-Men universe, amassed the powers of many other mutants, becoming immortal and invincible. Upon awakening after thousands of years, he is disillusioned with the world as he finds it and recruits a team of powerful mutants, including a disheartened Magneto (Michael Fassbender), to cleanse mankind and create a new world order, over which he will reign. As the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) with the help of Professor X (James McAvoy) must lead a team of young heroes to stop their greatest nemesis and save mankind from complete destruction.

X-Men Apocalypse is in theaters in May.

Cast: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn, Lucas Till, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Alexandra Shipp, Josh Helman, Lana Condor, Ben Hardy

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‘The Crow’ Is Relativity’s Top Priority, Fires Director

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A reboot of The Crow franchise is coming to the big screen, the when part might be harder to pin down.

Relativity has made The Crow reboot its top production priority, according to The Wrap. As the company refocused on the project, they decided to part ways with director Corin Hardy. ‘The Hallow’ was Hardy’s first major feature film, and his use of practical effects would have been a refreshing change for a big budget film. Relativity has reportedly invested “in excess of $7 million” in the remake and appears to be starting over from scratch. The original plan was to start production on the film this month.

The Crow is more infamous than successful, as Brandon Lee was killed during the filming of the original 1994 version by Alex Proyas. In 1996, there was the direct to DVD sequel, The Crow: City of Angels (side note, this film has a young Thomas Jane). In 2005, Tara Reid and Edward Furlong destroy the franchise with The Crow: Wicked Prayer.

The Crow is based on the comic book by James O’Barr. The main character Eric Draven, who returns from the dead to track down his killers with the help of a mystical crow.

Top 5 Actors To Play The Crow In The Upcoming Reboot

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