“La Dame Blanche” Recap and Critique – Outlander Season 2

May 2, 2016

Outlander presented some risqué content in last Saturday’s episode, “La Dame Blanche,” including a long-awaited sex scene featuring a quite pregnant Claire and a revelation of royal adultery. “La Dame Blanche” also covered some disturbing ground, specifically Mary Hawkins‘s rape at the hands of a Parisian brigand. Also, viewers finally saw Jamie and Claire form a concrete plan on how to discredit Charles Stuart in front of his recently revealed potential financier, the Duke of Sandringham. Unfortunately, things don’t go according to plan …

“La Dame Blanche” – The Recap

While Duverney and Jamie play Chess, Jamie and Claire discuss which horrible baby name they should foist on their unborn child–Lambert or Dalhousie. Claire’s Parisian nemesis, le Comte St. Germain, saunters up to the match casting mean looks all around and Duverney gets a win for his army of painted wooden figures. Duverney calls it a draw, though, because he believes Jamie’s concentration was thrown off by Claire. Claire takes her leave of the Chess match and grabs a glass of wine proffered by a servant. Claire quickly starts coughing and grabbing at her stomach. Jamie ends his match with Duverney unceremoniously as he rushes to Claire, hoisting her into the air and bustling her off to get medical attention. Nothing is confirmed but St. Germain’s sneer at the departing couple puts the audience’s suspicion squarely on him. It seems St. Germain may still hold a grudge against Claire because of her involvement in the burning of his smallpox-infested ship.

Back at Chez Fraser, Jamie and Claire have a heart-to-heart as she recovers: her poisoning appears to have been non-lethal to both her and her unborn child. Claire suspects St. Germain of the dastardly deed but has no proof. Jamie and Claire’s conversation turns to their ongoing campaign to put an early end to the Jacobite uprising. Jamie repeats his plan of arranging, by way of a dinner party, the introduction of Charles Stuart to his potential financier, the Duke of Sandringham. Jamie insists that Sandringham will withdraw his funding once he realizes what an absolute turd Stuart is–although Jamie uses the word “popinjay.” Claire, though supportive of the idea, is uncomfortable with the plan because she knows that if Sandringham comes to their house he’ll be accompanied by Alex Randall, the younger brother of Jamie’s rapist Black Jack Randall, who will inevitably let slip the fact that his brother is still alive. Knowing she has no other choice, Claire tells Jamie that Black Jack is still alive but Jamie’s reaction is far from what Claire had expected. Jamie now feels he has something to live for, murdering Black Jack Randall. But, much to Claire’s relief, Jamie will not go back to Scotland to do so, where he might be arrested and executed. Jamie’s newfound purpose is a double-edged sword for Claire: Jamie’s mood is improving, but now Claire has to figure out how to ensure that her 20th-century husband Frank doesn’t get snuffed out of existence by Jamie should Jamie murder Black Jack Randall, Frank’s ancestor.

One complication at a time, though: following up on an aftertaste of bitter cascara in her poisoned wine, Claire makes a trip to Master Raymond‘s apothecary shop. She demands to know whether or not Raymond sold the emetic to St. Germain. He replies that he sold the herb in question to a servant he did not recognize, having no idea what it would be used for–even though he explained its use to Claire in the last episode. A quick interruption from Raymond’s servant reminds him that “they” are listening. Opening a concealed door, Raymond asks Claire to accompany him to somewhere more private. The back room of Raymond’s shop proves interesting. Full of dinosaur skulls and other unique items, Raymond describes himself to Claire as a man fascinated by things not of their time. He gives her a pendant with a powerful stone in it, saying it will change colour in the presence of any poison. Raymond further piques Claire’s interest when, after she asks him to tell her if Frank’s existence is in jeopardy, he reads her fortune telling her that she will see Frank again.

Claire also makes a trip to her friend Louise de La Tour‘s house. After sending the ill-fated Mary Hawkins out of the room and reminding her not to put her fingers in the monkey cage lest she be bitten, Louise drops quite a bombshell: she’s been having an affair with and was subsequently impregnated by … someone. Claire suggests that Louise keep the baby and convince her husband, Prince Jules de Rohan, that the baby is his. De La Tour acquiesces but warns that her lover will be furious.

Later, Claire reclines in bed waiting for an errant Jamie. He arrives, much to Claire’s relief, full of ardour and the Frasers can’t keep their hands off each other for the first time in a long time. Claire’s inspection of Jamie’s body, though, uncovers fresh bite marks on both of his thighs. Jamie, though he probably should’ve just taken the night off, explains them by saying that he was just at a brothel and he had the most wonderful time! He tells Claire that after she told him that Black Jack was still alive, he felt good for the first time since his rape and that his trip to the brothel was just a test run to see if the juices had started flowing again. Basically, Jamie just keeps digging himself in deeper, explaining that the bite marks were sustained when he spurned a prostitute who offered him a “soixante-neuf.” And though he refused her, he rrreally wanted herrr! Claire accuses Jamie of needing to work himself up with a whore before lying with his wife and of making her go through her pregnancy alone. Jamie tells Claire that she can’t understand: his soul–which he describes as his fortress of solitude–was destroyed by Randall, and that he’s been exposed ever since, “living under a blade of grass.” He suggests that they sleep in different beds.

Claire has other plans, though. Shortly after he leaves, she goes to the room Jamie is sleeping in and the two engage in a bit of steamy silicone-simulated pregnancy coitus. The much-anticipated event complete, Jamie and Claire bask in the afterglow and Jamie tells Claire that her affection and understanding have improved his soul’s living situation from that of living under a blade of grass to that of living in a roofed-in lean-to. The bliss is short-lived, though. Jamie hears a knocking noise, jumps out of bed, and before long locates Charles Stuart banging on their bedroom window trying to get inside.

Stuart, after demanding whisky and medical attention for his hand, describes his ordeal: he had to escape from his Lady’s house after she spurned him, which caused a great deal of noise and nearly alerted her husband. During Stuart’s escape, as he says, he was bitten on the hand by his Lady’s pet. Claire asks him if this pet was a monkey. When Stuart replies that it was, Claire’s suspicions are confirmed: Louise de La Tour is having an affair with Charles Stuart. The Royal Boo-Boo bandaged, the Frasers hatch a Mean Girls type plot to have Stuart, Sandringham, de La Tour, and her husband all come to the same dinner party in hopes that Stuart will make an ass of himself in front of Sandringham.

A caption informs the audience that an apparently uneventful week has passed: it is the day of the dinner party. Claire, unwelcome in the kitchen during the preparations, takes Mary Hawkins to L’Hopital des Anges and the two witness some 18th-century medicine in action. The two volunteer nurses see some unlikely acupuncture in action, get dead people’s lard on their hands, and eventually make their way back to their carriage. Unfortunately, the carriage is broken and the two must walk home. Luckily they have Murtagh there to escort them. On their walk, Mary reveals to Claire that she is in love with Alex Randall but their camaraderie is interrupted by two brigands who knock Murtagh unconscious and hold Claire back as one of them rapes Mary. As Claire struggles with the brigand holding her, he recognizes her and shouts out, “La Dame Blanche!” He runs off shouting this at his partner who Claire pulls off of Mary, but before Murtagh can regain consciousness and give him a proper Scottish thrashing the brigand escapes.

Jamie’s anxiety level climbs as the guests arrive for the dinner party with no sign of Claire. To his relief, though, once de La Tour and her husband arrive a servant informs Jamie that Claire and Mary have returned. On learning that Mary was raped, Jamie swears to hunt down and kill whomever did it. Claire, though, doesn’t let him leave saying that tonight is too important. They take Mary upstairs and put her to bed, leaving her in the care of her love Alex Randall, who arrived at the Frasers’ with the Duke of Sandringham.

A quick change and a private suggestion to Jamie that le Comte St. Germain may have been responsible for hers and Mary’s attack later, a cool-as-a-cucumber Claire is downstairs eating dinner with her sundry guests, one of whom is none other than le Comte St. Germain. Claire and St. Germain exchange words about her pendant–the same one given her by Raymond–and Claire ends the conversation with a thinly veiled threat to poison him. This tense exchange is followed by a few more of the same type between Charles Stuart and Louise de La Tour, being goaded on by Jamie. Giving Stuart ample opportunity to make an ass of himself in front of Sandringham, he almost does but is stopped by the timely screams of a very much awake Mary Hawkins who, still in shock, believes that Alex Randall is also trying to rape her.

The supposition of rape is shared by several of the guests when they walk in on Alex straddling a prostrate Mary on the sitting room floor. Although he is only trying to restrain her in an attempt to keep her from running around the house in her nighty, dinner guests suspect him of more malicious intent. Swords and daggers are drawn, punches and elbows are thrown, and St. Germain suggests to Stuart that they retire to less dangerous surroundings. As Jamie and Murtagh use every non-lethal weapon at their disposal to beat the dinner guests into submission, le Comte and the Pretender to the Throne disappear to discuss the future of the Jacobite uprising.

“La Dame Blanche” – My Critique

“La Dame Blanche” was undoubtedly my favourite Season Two episode of Outlander so far because, unlike the other three it developed the plot and the characters rather than simply the setting. “La Dame Blanche” involved a number of intriguing plot developments, such as: Claire and Jamie formulating a plan on how to discredit Charles Stuart, the revelation of Charles Stuart and Louise de La Tour’s affair, the revelation of de La Tour’s pregnancy, Claire’s revelation to Jamie that Black Jack Randall is still alive, and Mary Hawkins’s rape. It seems that the writers figured that the audience now understands that the show is set in France and have decided that they can resume plot development.

I was interested to learn that Master Raymond may be more than he appears: his statement in “La Dame Blanche” that he is interested in things not of their time suggests that he may know of Claire’s untimely origin.

I was also happy that “La Dame Blanche” included Claire’s telling Jamie that Black Jack is still alive. It’s infuriating when lies like these bog down a show’s plot development in order to intensify the audience’s level of suspense. There need to be believable reasons for characters to lie to each other in any TV show, movie, or play. Otherwise, these kinds of lies stand out for audiences, who don’t understand why a character would keep such secrets. “La Dame Blanche” avoided this well: when Claire understood it was impossible to keep the truth from Jamie any longer, she told him that Black Jack was still alive. Of course, Claire didn’t give up all her secrets in “La Dame Blanche,” and I don’t blame her. I imagine that “I’m married to your rapist’s grandson in the future,” probably wouldn’t go over well.

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B-Movie Badassery: The Weird World of ‘Critters’ (1986)

Larry Taylor - Managing Editor

May 2, 2016

Critters isn’t as frightening as you remember from your childhood. It’s also not really that violent or gory; hell, it’s rated PG-13, a surprise for me when I revisited it last week. My memory consisted of quick twitch fur balls with razor teeth, red eyes, and a piranha-like ability to gobble up sheriff’s deputies and other peripheral 80s horror characters. I remembered buckets of blood and poisoned darts and the creatures ripping people limb from limb. And yet, there are only two human casualties. That speaks to the completeness of vision at work on the most basic B-movie levels.

Instead of throwing blood at the screen, director Stephen Herek and writer Domonic Muir work to build a fully-realized universe. Spanning from the outer reaches of a super weird alien society, all the way down to the Norman Rockwell version of small town Americana, Critters has great fun setting things up and working through them while everyone seems to be having a great time. They all know, and the audience knows, Critters is meant to be 90 minutes (or 82, really) of camp fun. Nothing more.

The story cobbles together a dozen or so stories from 80s blockbusters, from The Terminator, to Gremlins (which New Line called this one their answer to Gremlins), and even a little bit of E.T. thrown in to make sure all our bases have been covered. A horde of furry bowling ball aliens with razor teeth and a need to kill have landed in Anytown, Middle America, a farming town untouched by modernity. They have their sheriff (the always reliable sleezeball M. Emmett Walsh), his horny deputy, and a village idiot, Charlie McFadden (Don Keith Opper), who winds up playing a larger role by the film’s end.

The Critters find their way to a farmhouse occupied by a stereotypical farming fam of four. Mother (Dee Wallace) and father, a son and a daughter, but Herek and Muir amp up the broad personalities of the kids. The daughter, April, is loaded with hormones, working tirelessly at getting laid – more specifically, hooking up with a baby-faced Billy Zane. And the son, Brad (Scott Grimes), the deFacto star of the film, is headstrong and contrarian. The strong characterizations of the children buoy the film as it works its way through standard plot beats.

What isn’t standard with Critters are the two bounty hunters hot on the trail of the vicious little Furbies. The two hunters, their faces glowing and yellow, eventually take human form to save a little special effects money. One takes the shape of a rock star who sings the only song anyone ever listens to anywhere in the movie. One of the weirder idiosyncrasies. But these bounty hunters are incompetent, a little thick, and kind of worthless when all is said and done. It’s an interesting left turn in the film, having two alien hunters with massive weapons show themselves to be wholly incapable of performing their job.

Critters is a movie with a world inside, a story we all know from a dozen other movies, but one told here with more energy and fun than most knock-offs. I seem to remember Critters 2 being better, if for no other reason than the giant rolling Ball of Critters! Alas, it was poor mimicry when held up to the original.

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Complete Season Review ‘Supergirl’ – Benoist A Joy To Watch

John Zakour

May 2, 2016

A solid first season

Supergirl Season 1 was fun and enjoyable if at times a cheesy romp. Of course with Supergirl being a freshman show, there are some kinks that need to be worked out in Season 2.

The first issue that must be tackled is let’s call it the Superman Problem. You can’t keep mentioning the man of steel and not having him show up, or he looks like a twit. Of course, if he shows up and gets easily taken out (like in the last two episodes) he looks weak, which isn’t good either. Get him off Earth and leave him there for a season.

Next, Supergirl needs to be more super at times. Quicksand should never be a threat to her. They need to establish that a being that is powered by the yellow sun of Earth should be in no danger of dying in space. Yeah, she may not be able to breathe in space, but she has no need to breathe for extended periods. Also a character such as say Silver Banshee shouldn’t ever be able to physically touch a character who can move and react as fast as Supergirl.

The bad guys, especially the big bad need to be bigger, worse and have clearer motivation. Astra never seemed to have her heart into actually destroying Earth. Non was more than a bit of a dud. Truthfully only Indigo seemed like she wanted to generate chaos but even then her motives were sketchy. We’re still not sure who’s side Maxwell Lord is on. Actually, he’s on his side, just not sure what that means for Supergirl and her friends. Right now he’s a slightly lesser evil Lex Luthor. He needs to be more defined. And while we’re at it so does Cadmus. Additionally, it would be nice if the bad guys made less convenient choices. For instance, Non and Indigo putting their army into stasis before the big battle. Episode 19 gave us a neat opening scene with Maxima, but then we saw nothing more of her…

Now for the good and there is a lot to like about this show. The main attraction is watching Melissa Benoist in the title role. She plays all the sides of Kara with equal flare. The geeky, shy Kara is certainly on par with Christopher Reeve’s Clark Kent, no higher praise. It was incredible to watch her play awkward Martian Manhunter posing as Kara. Of course, Benoist also captures the fire and angst of a girl coming to grips with having her entire world yanked away from her. She is equally marvelous playing a superhero discovering her powers and her role in the universe. A big tip of my cap to Benoist. It was a pleasure seeing a superhero who gleefully embraces being a superhero and helping people as she learns what it truly means to be a hero.

Also on the plus side is Calista Flockhart’s performance as Cat Grant, Kara’s boss and mentor. If Supergirl is the heart of the show then Cat is the mind of the show. The one who always keeps a cool head and seems to know the right thing to do. She gives great pep talks to Kara and Supergirl. Flockhart takes a role that I assumed would be a stock one-dimensional character and makes her one of the most grounded and likeable people around. Kudos to her! I also choose to believe that she knows Kara is Supergirl.

David Harewood does a first class job as Martian Manhunter. When he was plain boring Hank Henshaw I found him to be a sort of strict by the book character that had one tone, “do it my way!” Yeah it was obvious he was hiding a secret but not so obvious that he was a super powered alien. Once that was revealed his character and the show took on a whole new light. A very pleasant and surprising change. I love watching him fly side by side with Supergirl.

In fact all the regular characters have done well with their roles. Chyler Leigh has the difficult task of playing second fiddle to the strongest woman on Earth. She still comes through as confident and powerful in her own right. Now that Jeremy Jordan has gone from potential geeky boyfriend to tech wiz friend his character is fun to watch, getting some of the better lines in the show. Jenna Dewan Tatum’s, Lucy Lane character also fits into the cast better than she did at first when she was James Olsen’s girlfriend. Hopefully they will have her put on the Superwoman uniform next year. As for Mehcad Brook’s James Olsen, even he is growing on me.

The fight and action scenes also improved as the season went on. Yes, they still have TV budget but for the most part everything looks good. The fight with Maxima was short but really stood out for me.

All in all, I really enjoyed this season. Supergirl was consistently centered around hope, family and team work, making it a fine contrast to another DC franchise. I look forward to season two.

As for the cliffhanger, it’s interesting to guess who is in the pod. The show runners have hinted that it is a major character. My guess would be either Alura, a younger version of Kara, or a version of Superboy. Though the later might detract from Supergirl herself. Outside shot that it’s Krypto the super dog, which would be dorky but a lot of fun.

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WHIH Asks, ‘Do You Know Where The Hulk Is?’

Matthew Sardo

May 2, 2016

The fictitious news station, WHIH, that is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe has a fantastic Twitter feed (@WHIHOfficial) full of Easter eggs and additional information on all that is happening in the MCU.

The main focus of their tweets is the aftermath of ‘Captain America: Winter Soldier,’ and ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron,’ with some hints about ‘Ant-Man.’

In the wake of the Battle of Sokovia, many international governments are asking “Where is the #Hulk?” #WHIH pic.twitter.com/gh5GkRBmxG

— WHIH Newsfront (@WHIHOfficial) April 29, 2016

Does #TonyStark really own the #IronMan suit, or should the government claim control? pic.twitter.com/dursmUVULs

— WHIH Newsfront (@WHIHOfficial) May 1, 2016

Wanted fugitive and mercenary #BrockRumlow still at large. WHIH #Newsfront investigates pic.twitter.com/rO9e07Fao5

— WHIH Newsfront (@WHIHOfficial) May 1, 2016

As rumors abound of Thaddeus Ross’ entrance into politics, WHIH investigates the truth: https://t.co/NxctGuz7UC pic.twitter.com/bKpW1YeRK7

— WHIH Newsfront (@WHIHOfficial) April 30, 2016

CEO Pepper Potts continues to dodge questions about rumored consumer applications for arc reactor technology. pic.twitter.com/btCke2t4FW

— WHIH Newsfront (@WHIHOfficial) April 30, 2016

The Vision. Human? Alien? Something else? Does it matter? #WHIH investigates. pic.twitter.com/1VYgpqceph

— WHIH Newsfront (@WHIHOfficial) April 29, 2016

‘Captain America: Civil War’ is directed by Anthony & Joe Russo from a screenplay by Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely, Captain America: Civil War picks up where Avengers: Age of Ultron left off, as Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) leads the new team of Avengers in their continued efforts to safeguard humanity. After another international incident involving the Avengers results in collateral damage, political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability and a governing body to determine when to enlist the services of the team. The new status quo fractures the Avengers while they try to protect the world from a new and nefarious villain.

The film stars Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Paul Bettany, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Chadwick Boseman, Emily VanCamp, Daniel Brühl, Frank Grillo, William Hurt, Tom Holland, and Martin Freeman.

‘Captain America: Civil War’ is set for release on May 6.

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Review: Game of Thrones ‘Home’ – Or The Stories We Tell

Curtis Waugh

May 2, 2016

Game of Thrones is a show that encompasses numerous stories, hundreds of families and thousands of people. It’s obvious when an episode opens with footage from three seasons prior what will be important and what will need to be freshest on the viewers’ minds when going into the current tale. I believe that in order for a story to be most complete, those controlling the progress (David Benioff and D.B. Weiss in this case) also incorporate a level of meta-textuality to the material that gives everything a much greater satisfaction. ‘Home’, warts and all, might be the paramount in what long-form story telling can be in providing us a story about stories as well as an awareness of the form and appreciation in stick-to-itiveness.

In ‘Home’, we deal with the repercussions and causality of the stories we’ve been told for more than five years.

After more than a year, we are reacquainted with Bran as he continues to learn under the tutelage of the Three-Eyed Raven (Max Von Sydow still a great screen presence at 87 years of age). Bran witnesses the story of his father, uncle and even Hodor in a vision given by The Raven. In this vision, the biggest discovery is that Hodor used to be named Willis and could also speak normal Common Tongue like everyone else. We believe this story because of the knowing look in Hodor’s eyes when Bran confronts him with this information. Game of Thrones knows exactly how to pin you down…

… And also disarm you of your opinions.

The Mountain aka the Undead Gregor Clegane is simply a myth to everyone in the Red Keep at this point. Most have probably heard of his fall against the Red Viper during their battle but unaware as to his ultimate fate. For a character hated by most of the general audience, Game of Thrones manages to bring his ultimate return some crowd-pleasing quality mostly by drawing upon our strangely sympathetic feelings for Cersei. Amidst a crown of drunks, one of the drunkest men tells the story of Cersei seeing this particular drunk’s cock for the first time. In what feels like more of a comedy routine than truth, the drunk says that his cock is so big, Cersei actually licked her lips at the sight of it. A scene later, we see this drunk peeing in a dark corner only to be interrupted by The Undead Mountain and have his skull smashed in against the rock wall. At this moment we love The Undead Mountain because we believe Cersei deserves justice.

The High Sparrow has bought into his own tale of the poor masses aligning themselves against a tyrannical system. If we hadn’t been subject to who these people in the tyrannical system are, we’d no doubt align ourselves with the Sparrow. But Jaime Lannister has menace and hate in his eye and it can’t be long for him to summon the ability to take back power in the Red Keep. Or have his head lopped off; who knows with this show?

In Meereen, Tyrion is the most directly authorial presence in our story with his forward declaration that what he does is, “drink and know things.” He presides over an inner-circle meeting by telling Varys, Messandei and Grey Worm that dragons are smart enough to not harm those who give them respect and freedom. In what is the funniest scene of the week, Tyrion is successful in this hypothesis but reluctant to try anything like it again. This small tale in Tyrion’s life when he tamed and freed two dragons should be told to generations after his passing.

Arya, having been shown to take beatings on the regular in Braavos, finally comes to the conclusion that she is to fully accept her duty as becoming “no one”. Jaqen H’gar entices her with the privilege of sleeping with a roof, having a meal and even being restored her eyesight. This all comes as a mild shock as I’m pretty sure Jaqen has heard this story before with Arya balking in the end. Maybe he is willing to play this game until she learns. Either way, Arya is at least given clearance to her further redemption by accepting this new tale of herself.

Ramsay Snow (yes, he’s a Bolton now but I refuse to call him one. Go ahead, tell his spies. To seven hells with him.) has made a horrendous living off of his insane and insidious threats. The worst thing about Ramsay’s horror stories is that he follows them through. Ramsay has been threatened by his father, Roose, for some time that if he does not satisfy Roose’s needs, he is apt to name his probable newly born son rightful heir to the Bolton Throne and the Warden of the North. In an extension of Roose’s oversight of Ramsay’s featly to him, Roose lets it be known to Ramsay that he has just been blessed with a newborn boy and second to the throne after Ramsay. This doesn’t sit well with the bastard and Ramsay murders his father in the midst of a still angry Karstark man (I’m not sure the exact relation of the man at Ramsay’s side to the Karstark Robb Stark killed back in season three but he’s close enough to be pissed about it). The episode then gives us the epitome of tension in placing this newborn baby brother into Ramsay’s arms. He doesn’t kill him like we expect him to… only to minutes later set hunting dogs upon his step-mother and newborn baby brother. You asshole, Ramsay.

Theon must now reconcile once and for all his destiny after having taken Winterfell by telling the people that he had killed the two youngest Stark kids, Bran and Rickon. Even after all he has gone through, he doesn’t feel atoned for his sins and wants to ride off and leave Sansa, Brienne and Pod because of his guilt.

When Theon says he’s going home, we revisit the Iron Islands where his sister and father still bicker over the ruling of their house. Balon, having clearly gone mad already, stumbles out into the night onto a ramshackle bridge. Here he encounters his brother, Euron*, who claims all sorts of menacing, end-of-the-world shit and pushes Balon off the bridge to his death. Theon gets to go home to a place in no less turmoil than he was residing.

At the climax of ‘Home’, we get to see Ser Davos come to Melisandre asking for her help. At the episode’s outset, Davos, Edd, Ghost and co. were saved by the Wildings’ intervention of Ser Alliser’s intrusion upon Jon Snow’s temporary tomb (where we also got a deliciously gruesome killing of a Nights-Watchman by our Big Friendly Giant). With the Night’s Watch in the hands of the decent again, Davos entrusts his instincts by believing the things he’s seen Melisandre do during their time together. There is no love lost between the two and Davos is certainly no follower of The Lord of Light but he is a logical man who will accept the things he has witnessed first hand.

Davos goes to Melisandre and asks her to bring Jon Snow back to life. Melisandre has seen Thoros of Myr bring Beric Dondarrion back to life at least once and knows that The Lord of Light is capable of granting this power. She has never been able to wield it and is questionable of the validity of it all.

But she tries.

Melisandre cleans Jon Snow’s body and chants words and phrases. She chants them over and again, each time seemingly believing them more and more. We, as an audience sit and think about the reasons why so many different scenarios should or should not occur at this moment. We tell ourselves stories to placate the tension.

She doesn’t succeed.

Everyone leaves the room, Davos being the last to exit. Jon’s dire wolf, Ghost, is fast asleep until he feels something in the room. He awakens, seemingly a happy pup and we snap to Jon who finally takes a long-awaited gasp of air.

Much can be said of the way Jon Snow was brought back to life in this episode. Sure, it came in probably the most expected way but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the most earned. This show has been laying these pieces down for years. Time will only tell if the stories we were told tonight hold up against the ones they will continue to tell until the series ends.

Stories are the most powerful things we own and share. Game of Thrones has this art form on lock.

“I wasn’t drowning, I was home.” – Bran

Check out my reviews of previous episodes of ‘Game of Thrones’:

The Red Woman

*in George R.R. Martin’s book, A Feast for Crows, it isn’t immediately revealed who killed Balon and is initially taken as an accident or possible suicide. This reveal is interesting in its forward nature.

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WWE Payback: Not Really The First PPV Of The New Era

EJ Moreno

May 1, 2016

The Future Of WWE Is Just A Little Brighter…

May 1st has been dubbed the first day in a new era of WWE. After ‘Payback’ was finished, I have to dis-agree. While the latest PPV on the WWE Network showcased the next generation of Superstars shining bright, the booking was more of the same. The show had an influx of NXT wrestlers but the show felt like any other pay-per-view.

Big Cass/Enzo vs The Vaudevillains

-I wasn’t looking forward to this match. I’ve seen both teams fight before during my time living in Orlando & attending NXT shows. With that being said, having the match cut short like that wasn’t what I was hoping for. Simon Gotch threw Enzo Amore outside of the ring and it seems that Amore hurt his neck. Amore’s partner Big Cass seemed very distraught with this result. The match ended in a no-contest. This will only get the people behind Enzo more. The crowd was cheering his name as soon as he went down. Curious to see how this progresses.
Sami Zayn vs Kevin Owens

-One of the most beautifully built feuds in WWE. Best friends turns bitter enemies. This has been building since late- 2014. Hell, this has been building for 14 years. No WWE feud gets this amount of time anymore. The match didn’t start with the heat it deserved; the crowd was still shook from the finish of the last match. They were hot for the “Ole!” chant and firmly behind Sami Zayn during the match. Also, every crowd respects the amazingly heel Kevin Owens. That man is honestly one of the best at what he does. Owens won the match but their blood feud is far from over.
The Miz (w/ Maryse) vs Cesaro

-Sadly this match was outshined by Kevin Owens being his usual awesome self on commentary. Cesaro & Miz were putting on a decent match but they were seemingly passing time until they got to the big angle at the end of the match. After a fairly quick bout, Zayn returns to ringside and attacks Owens. This allows a major distraction and Miz steals the win from Cesaro. All the men end up brawling after the match. Will this lead to a Fatal 4-Way?
Dean Ambrose vs Chris Jericho

-The build for this match was fairly simple. Chris Jericho was getting too cocky and Dean Ambrose embarrassed him. This led to both getting more violent with each other as the weeks went on; finally boiling over at this PPV. The match was nothing spectacular. Both men did well but it will be a fairly forgettable contest. I’m just happy this match ended clean. We didn’t need another sketchy finish this evening.
Charlotte (w/ Ric Flair) vs Natayla (w/ Bret Hart)

-I’m a fan of both women; I had to chance to see their first encounter at the first NXT Takeover. Ironically, both their relatives were in their respected corners in that match as well. Glad to see Bret Hart back after he beat prostate cancer. The match itself was filled with in-ring psychology and mat-based wrestling. Natalya is one of the best wrestlers in the entire company and she only made Charlotte look better. Not to take anything away from Charlotte who has grown into this vile heel character. The ending was horrid. The call back to the Montreal Screwjob was bad. Piss-poor booking but at least they will fight again.
Vince McMahon Announces Who Runs Monday Night Raw

– Vince in front of a Chicago crowd…it was inevitable. But this time-filling segment was a good way to weaken the crowd before they boo Roman out of the building. I haven’t heard heat like this in a very long time. Line of the evening is from Stephanie: “Don’t worry Dad, they respond to pandering”. The whole segment dragged on. Eventually, Shane & Stephanie are forced by their daddy to share.
Roman Reigns vs AJ Styles

-Well the boos were still there for Roman Reigns. The Chicago crowd was easily 60/40 during this match, obviously leaning more towards AJ Styles. All I can say is Styles tried his best; he really shined with his selling and transitions between moves. The gimmick ending with the force McMahon influence weakened any attempt to make this serious. The final moments of the match were insanely hot; Roman even got lucky enough to get a pop from his win. Then right back to boos.

Sadly I got more of the same from WWE tonight. The show wasn’t the worst I’ve seen but it was a bit lackluster. ‘Payback‘ seems like a stepping stone for something bigger later one. Let’s hope ‘Extreme Rules‘ is much better later this month.

What did you think of WWE’s PPV ‘Payback‘?

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Review: Paper Girls Volume 1 “The Secret Seven meets H.G. Wells”

Gary Moloney

May 1, 2016

Coming of age stories can pose quite the challenger for writers. Often they are created by those who have forgotten what it was like to be young and their characters sound like adults attempting to sound like children, lacking the authentic voice of youth. The result is often a lackluster Without a Paddle despite aiming to be Stand by Me. The Eisner-nominated Paper Girls is the latest Image series from writer; Brian K. Vaughen (Saga, Y: The Last Man) and artist; Cliff Chiang (Wonder Woman) and thankfully, it falls in to the latter category.

Paper Girls is set during the late ’80s and stars four 12-year newspaper delivery girls as they are thrust into a bizarre apocalyptic setting. As the plot progresses, what begins as a simple tale of youth soon leads to time-travel escapades and a war between two equally shady factions. The result is an Edith Blyton novel with a sci-fi twist straight out of the collected works of H.G. Wells. It’s a lot to take in and often it isn’t clear what’s going on, but it allows us to experience the same fear and uncertainty the main characters do. The mystery is as perplexing to us as it is to them and this enables it unfold naturally over the course of this first volume. Each revelation leads to more questions as a rich universe is slowly developed. We aren’t given definitive answers, but it does end on a nice cliff-hanger that sets up. In between the are poignant character moments that are a reminder of one’s rebellious teenage years and the innocence of our salad days. In one short scene, the series tackle our growing reliance on technology in a simplistic, but visually powerful way. That’s one of the series’ strengths; the economic use of its space to devastating effect. Vaughan uses language in extremely creative ways, creating new dialects and languages to give each set of characters their own unique feeling. An interesting mix of Shakespearean and “leet-speak” helps to give our central antagonists an other-worldliness that retains an air of eerily familiarity.

Chiang’s cartoonish interiors are an excellent way of contrasting expectation with reality. This disarming style lulls the reader into a false sense of security which Vaughan and Chiang use to shock them with violent or bizarre visuals. This book has the sensibilities of an art-house film, with psychedelic imagery that leaves the reader questioning the reality presented to us. One character compares the visuals to an acid trip and it’s hard to disagree. Chiang has composed a book that feels like a waking dream, a plain both the characters and read struggle to navigate, but is nevertheless compelling. This feeling of reading the characters’ hallucination is exemplified by the colours provided by Matt Wilson which give the images an ethereal tint. This is what I imagine a Twin Peaks comic might look like and that can only ever be a good thing.

The only problem with that book is that it’s dream-like approach to story-telling leaves one slightly unfulfilled and there is a sense that five issues in we still don’t know a lot about what’s going on. This series isn’t for everyone, those impatient among you may not appreciate its pacing, but the mystery it sets up is intriguing. From visuals to mode of story-telling, Paper Girls is intellectually stimulating and a refreshingly artistic offering that is unlike anything else on the stand, but it is that very uniqueness that may not endear it some readers. Paper Girls pushing the limits of what is capable through sequential art and will likely do well at the Eisner Awards. If you haven’t checked out the series yet, this volume collects the first five issues and will allow you to get in on the ground with one of the most talked about comics this year. Yesterday’s paper tells yesterday’s news.

A review copy was kindly provided by the publisher.

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Why it’s Good if Negan killed Maggie on ‘The Walking Dead’

Jon Barr - TV Editor

May 1, 2016

It’s hard to say exactly who was killed in ‘The Walking Dead’’s season six finale. The show runners purposefully made it an ambiguous ending, giving fans ample time to argue and debate about who’s head just had a violent encounter with villainous Negan and his trusty bat Lucille. And out of the 11 main characters that could have been taken out, what would it mean for the show moving forward?

Maggie Greene has had a rough time in the apocalypse. She may have found her lovely dumpster husband, but she’s lost every member of her immediate family. After being lined up with the other show leads, it seems possible she’s following the lead set by her father, sister, and other barbecued relatives. What could be good about that? Let’s look at the evidence.

As far as emotional impact, the best The Walking Dead kills are ones that shake the core of the group. The death of Beth, Maggie’s sister, shook the core of the group, and the death of Maggie would do the same. Her relationship with Glenn would shake him up, even more than watching Noah get devoured, or Nicholas get exactly what was coming to him. Maggie’s rise to becoming the Alexandrian leader, replacing Deanna, would hit the survivors hard, especially the D.C. crew that joined Glenn & Tara to find her. And Carol’s break in stone-cold killer attitude stems in part from dealing with Maggie’s pregnancy. And Morgan just flat-out dislikes all death, so he won’t be happy with any deaths at all.

The matter of pregnancy also would lend her death more severity. That’d be two different deaths for the price of one. Lori died mid-childbirth in the prison many seasons back, but she had Carl to help deliver it, and no baseball bat to contend with. It’s already been established that Maggie is having some pregnancy complications, hence why the gang were rushing to Alexandria in the finale. Even if Maggie does survive, and she lives through childbirth, do we really want two babies on The Walking Dead? It seems too repetitive (not to say that the hours of walking in the woods are still fresh). It’d be the same sort of storylines we’ve already seen with Judith, and also means we’d have to see more of Gabriel, the whiny baby-sitting preacher man.

The biggest problem with Maggie being the big death on The Walking Dead is the real lack of realized potential. Not to say that Maggie hasn’t been a great character, but we’re getting to see more with her character in this season. Her rise to becoming the post-apocalyptic mayor of Alexandria opens up more potential storylines – does she replace Rick at the leader? Will her power lead her down a path to becoming more like the Governor, or Gregory.

Maggie’s already outlived the rest of her family, and proven her worth as a fighter and mediator. It’d be a shame to lose such a prominent female character, but we’ve seen her accomplish a lot in her time, and a death at the hand of The Walking Dead’s biggest bad is as fitting as anything else.

This article is part of a ‘The Walking Dead’ series. Read also about the benefits of the deaths of Daryl and Carl.

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John Krasinski is Your New Jack Ryan

Larry Taylor - Managing Editor

May 1, 2016

The Jack Ryan saga, made famous throughout the years with turns by Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford (and later sullied by Ben Affleck and Chris Pine), will have John Krasinski in the driver’s seat for the new TV version of the character.

According to the report over at Empire, Amazon Studios have picked up the tv rights and will distribute. There’s no timetable on the show’s release, but it isn’t expected to directly follow any Tom Clancy stories.

If anything, John Krasinski can return that bookish undercurrent in the Jack Ryan character missing in Pine and Affleck’s performances. Granted, the films weren’t that great to begin with.

What do you think about the Krasinski decision?

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The Turnbuckle Bandwagon: Will Payback Pay Off?

Mat Douglas

April 30, 2016

Welcome to the Turnbuckle Bandwagon, Monkeys Fighting Robots semi-regular column on sports entertainment and professional wrestling. This weekend we are looking at the next big WWE event, Payback on Sunday, May 1st.

The shows before and after Wrestlemania have a tendency to be a bit less so because they reside in the shadow of the WWE’s biggest show of the year. However, over the past couple of years, Payback has had some solid outings with above average undercard matches to balance out a typically predictable main event. This show has particular promise because a number of NXT talents are making their WWE PPV debut after recently joining the main roster. The WWE is marketing this show as a “new era” since Shane McMahon has been in charge of RAW since after Wrestlemania and The Authority has been absent.

Kalisto vs. Ryback – WWE United States Championship – Pre-show

This match is on the pre-show and again Kalisto is going against “The Big Guy” Ryback. Not sure where the WWE is going with this feud, and it’s not all that interesting, hence why it is on the pre-show.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

Dolp Ziggler vs Baron Corbin at Payback — Dolph Ziggler taking on Baron Corbin at Payback
photo: WWE

Ziggler has been floundering lately, but is still putting on good matches. That may change going up against one of the NXT stars making his PPV debut in Baron Corbin. Corbin had been manhandling most of NXT before making his Wrestlemania debut and winning the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Corbin is big, strong, and most of all, mean. His matches are like watching a freight train barrel through a woodpile, and working with a seasoned performer like Ziggler should produce a watchable and entertaining match.

Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs The Vaudevillains – #1 Contender Spot for the WWE Tag Team Championship

The Realest Guys In The Room made their main roster debut the night after Mania to a great response and throwing some nice insults at the Dudley Boyz. Simon Gotch and Aiden English would make their debut later in the week on Smackdown. Both teams have face each other multiple times on NXT, but the winner here gets a shot at the current champs, The New Day, who have held the titles since SummerSlam 2015. They work well together and have tons of personality. It may not be a technical masterpiece, but it will be fun to watch.

Charlotte vs. Natalya – WWE Women’s Championship

Charlotte vs Natalya at Payback — Charlotte vs Natalya
photo: WWE

Another NXT rivalry being carried up to the WWE, Natalya and Charlotte had one of the best wrestling matches in NXT in 2014. Since then, their paths have diverged dramatically. Charlotte would go on to win the NXT Women’s Championship and make her main roster debut last year. Natalya would get injured, and then have to take some time off for family issues, and has recently gotten back into the action in a newly dynamic and rebranded WWE Women’s division. There will also be some old school flavor as Ric Flair will be in his daughter’s corner, and to counter Natalya will have her uncle, the legendary Bret Hart to counter any shenanigans from the Dirtiest Coach in the Game.

Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho

Ambrose vs Jericho at Payback — Ambrose takes on Jericho at Payback
photo: WWE

This is a feud that got started because Dean Ambrose showed up with a potted plant and a letter from Shane McMahon stating that the Highlight Reel, Chris Jericho’s in ring talk show had been cancelled. Dean and his houseplant took over and renamed it ‘The Ambrose Asylum’ and it was a smart choice. As mentioned in this column previously, Dean Ambrose is going to be a huge star, the WWE just doesn’t know it yet. Jericho is always a solid performer and fresh off a match with A. J Styles, this is a match that will be athletic, but probably not very fast paced, and enjoyable as Jericho will be playing the villain here.

The Miz vs. Cesaro – WWE Intercontinental Championship

Cesaro - Payback — Cesaro returns after shoulder surgery
photo: WWE

Let’s be real here, The Miz stole the Intercontinental title. He goaded new champ Zack Ryder into a match the night after Wrestlemania, and with some interference from his equally dubious wife Maryse, beat Ryder for the belt. That’s what makes The Miz a vastly underrated character. He cheats, he’s annoying, and it’s made him one of the WWE’s most underrated bad guys. Whatever he is doing, you are supposed to hate him and it works. Cesaro is one of the best athletes in the company right now, back from shoulder surgery with a cool tearaway suit and the #CesaroSection firmly behind him. Watch out for obvious interference from Maryse and more European Uppercuts than you can shake a selfie stick at.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

This match may, and probably will steal the show. Many fans out there consider this particular contest the real main event. Prior to joining WWE, both men have been friends for more than a decade, meeting in 2002. They have performed as a tag team, and most notably against each other in various other promotions, and their work together is nothing short of fantastic. This match has happened in a banquet hall in front of barely 200 people and will now happen at a WWE pay-per-view and a worldwide audience. It should be the first of many match-ups between two talented professional wrestlers.

A. J. Styles vs. Roman Reigns – WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Reigns vs Styles at Payback — A. J. Styles squares off against Roman Reigns
photo: WWE

Should A. J. Styles win the WWE Title? Yes. Should he win it at Payback? No. The WWE is still insisting that Roman Reigns is “the guy”, Reigns has even said as much in his boring promos. A. J. is champion material, has been in every promotion he has worked prior to arriving in the WWE, but he just debuted in January. Expect a weird finish here, possibly Styles getting a DQ win, but Roman will walk out with the title.

What do YOU think is going to happen?

Let us know in the comments or talk to me on Twitter @MatPDouglas

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