Nightmare Fuel: 7-Foot-Tall Darth Malgus Action Figure Guarantees You Never Get Sex Again

Worst. Wingman. Ever.

Ok, that might not be guaranteed for you, but I can imagine how the conversation would go if I broached the idea of buying this ornate $6,000 (that’s right, it costs more than a reliable used car) action figure (I say action figure because you can move the arms and legs):

“Um, sweetie, since I got my work bonus and I was able to sell some stuff on eBay, um, I was thinking I would like to get this” /shows picture of Darth Malgus
“Oh, wow that’s cool, how big is it?”
“Um, 7-feet-tall”
/looks at me like I have completely lost my mind
“Ohhhhhkayyyyy, how much is it?”
“Just $6000 but you can finance it for $750 a month!”
“So basically, you want to buy a $6,000 action figure, which the pictures of are already scaring the dog?”
“Um, maybe?”
“I am moving out.”

On second thought maybe, I will just steal the costume idea for Halloween. But, if you’re interested you can purchase your very own from Side Show Toys. Here’s the product description and pics:


Sideshow Collectibles is proud to present the Darth Malgus Life Size figure. Capturing the vicious Sith Lord of The Old Republic in startlingly realistic 1:1 scale, the looming figure measures over 7 feet tall and more than 3 feet wide. Each piece is individually hand painted and finished to exacting standards, the trademark of a handcrafted Sideshow Collectibles product. Featuring a light up saber, LED light up components in the chest, collar, and wrist gauntlets, highly detailed armor, and a real fabric hooded cape; the Darth Malgus Life Size figure makes a spectacular addition to any collection.

Matthew Sardo
Matthew Sardo
As the founder of Monkeys Fighting Robots, I'm currently training for my next job as an astronaut cowboy. Reformed hockey goon, comic book store owner, video store clerk, an extra in 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon,' 'Welcome Back Freshman,' and for one special day, I was a Ghostbuster.