With a planned remake in the works, the question will be “Is the original ‘Patlabor: The TV Series’ Still Watchable?” Yes. It is still watchable, and it’s still good. In the 26 years since it ended, technology has changed dramatically, but that change is not too jarring or noticeable within the series. We no longer think of advanced computers running on disks or about elite police carrying revolvers, but the rest lines up with today’s technology and culture. There’s no cliché 80’s pop or retro-looking character designs. Even the art style doesn’t have an outdated feel to it. The jokes, as well, hold up to a scrutinizing modern audience. The series has multiple strong women. ‘Patlabor: The TV Series’ feels like it could have been made ten years ago then almost 30.
There are other good reasons to give it a try:
First of all ‘Patlabor’ is hilarious. It’s filled with traditional slapstick comedy and the genuinely funny antics of its characters, without feeling too stupid or silly. It has very little sex humor or fanservice, which is refreshing. ‘Patlabor’ also has a lot of action. It has visually and technically impressive fight scenes throughout series. Some of the fights actually do leave you in suspense about who is going to win, and many make you wonder how the heroes are going to survive. ‘Patlabor’ can also transition very quickly into a serious drama. Several episodes in Part 1 feature recurring corporate villains and all of those episodes are dark and suspenseful without upsetting tempo or flow.
‘Patlabor’ is a character-centric show. The eccentricities and relationships of the main cast drive the story and the plot. Even the supporting characters feel organic given well-developed backstories. The main characters are complex, and they are just plain interesting. You’ve got: Noa, the weird eccentric girl; Asuma, the scrappy rich kid at odds with his parents; Kanuka, the seemingly perfect American; and Goto, the almost all-knowing Commander. These are compelling characters who are easy to get attached to. The characters are not unique archetypes, but neither are they ones usually found in police procedurals. They are also not retro archetypes. The personnel of Special Vehicles Unit 2 are firmly believable as an elite unit.
The ‘Patlabor’ universe not only makes logical sense, but it’s also big enough to give a sense of reality. While implausible, the origin of the labor mechs as construction equipment is continually restated and reinforced, becoming an accepted part of the background. Other background entities, such as a military labor unit and a fictitious high-tech terrorist organization, also make enough appearances to quickly become realistic groups who exist in the periphery of the story. That is good writing.
Finally, ‘Patlabor’ is well formatted. While the show is usually listed as one season, it’s divided into three parts. The first part, covering episodes 1-24, was the original length planned for the show. Episodes 25-36 comprise a long follow-up arc, using villains from part 1. And episodes 37-47 neatly tie up the series. Enough is resolved at the end of each part you could stop watching and feel satisfied with what you had seen.
‘Patlabor’ is not outdated. It’s still compelling, and you should watch it.
“I’ve heard all the jokes.”
Lana Wood plays the titular (wink-wink) character who only sees maybe eight minutes of screen time. Plenty is a gold-digger on the prowl in the Whyte House’s casino when she meets James Bond (Sean Connery). He takes her back to his room where a gaggle of thugs toss her out a window.
Akiko Wakabayashi plays this Japenese secret agent who helps Bond (Connery). Their mission: sift out who stole an American space capsule (from space) before America and Russia commence World War III. Aki doesn’t really do much, so she’s basically here for her death scene: a bead of poison drips down a string, plinks on her lips, and closes her wind pipe.
Talisa Soto isn’t given much to do. Other than pose with an iguana for the movie’s one sheet, she’s the villain’s moll who defects to help James Bond (Timothy Dalton). Ms. Soto went on to appear in the Mortal Kombat movies and marry Benjamin Bratt.
Gemma Arterton plays this British spy, known only in the movie as Agent Fields. Yet her first name no doubt hails from the color of her hair. At least, I’m hoping. Otherwise it’s a terrible John Lennon reference. Fields appearance is short and largely unnecessary. She meets her demise by being covered in oil from head to toe. Give the writers some sympathy, the writer’s strike was on, so it Daniel Craig and director Marc Forster constructed the unfinished script while filming.
Another one without much to do. Lucia is memorable because of the actress who plays her; Monica Bellucci is the first woman over 50 to play a Bond Girl. Quite remarkable.
“How about the words: ‘I’ll be right back.'”
Maud Adams plays this sympathetic, hopeless victim of the movie’s villain, Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee). Anders is nothing more than Scaramanga’s mistress. He sleeps with her before each kill to improve his eyesight. A lot of men probably had their teeth rattled trying this one on their girlfriends when the movie was released. But her pain isn’t limited to just Scaramanga; James Bond (Roger Moore) smacks her around and almost breaks her arm to gain information from her.
Goodnight appears in several of the 007 books as Bond’s secretary. In her one and only movie appearance, she’s another British spy played Swedish actress and model Britt Ekland. Goodnight is sent to aid Bond (Moore) in his mission to kill Scaramanga and recover some ridiculous alternative energy generator known as the Solex Agitator. She’s mainly comic relief eye-candy. MI6 must’ve been desperate for agents if Goodnight made the team.
The countess’ appearance is short yet memorable. She supplies Bond (Moore) with information about the villain, only to be bulldozed by a Jeep the following morning. When Cassandra Harris took this part, she was the wife of future James Bond Pierce Brosnan.
Rosamund Pike plays this back-stabbing British spy sent to help Bond do something on a giant iceberg. If it was to stop him from hang-gliding on a poorly constructed CGI wave of water, she failed in spades. Usually there’s no coming back from a movie this bad, but Pike did. She received a Best Actress Academy Award nomination for her bitch-tastic role in Gone Girl.
The honey-voiced Tanya Roberts plays Sutton, a geologist who teams up with Bond (Moore) to investigate and stop Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) from flooding Silicon Valley. Whether it’s firing a shotgun full of rock salt at a home invader, or piloting a manic blimp, Sutton gets shit done. And in high heels. Roberts returned to the spotlight in the 1990s on the hit TV comedy That 70s Show.
Mie Hama plays this Japanese agent who marries Bond (Connery) so they can go undercover to prevent the outbreak of World War III. Oddly enough, her character’s name is never spoken. Even more odd is the idea that we’re supposed to believe Sean Connery looks Japanese after his makeover.
Halle Berry keeps quite a slender figure here despite all the scenery she chews. But that isn’t Ms. Berry’s fault. A performance by Meryl Streep couldn’t salvage this script. Jinx is a secret agent (shocker!) who teams with Bond to shit on recreated scenes from classic Bond movies (Ursula Andress walking out of the surf; laser-dissection). Rumors swirled that Jinx would get a spin-off movie franchise. That idea failed worse than Q Branch’s invisible car.
“I want to kill him [Goldfinger]! He killed my sister!”
“Keep leaning on that tooter… and you’re gonna get a shot in the mouth!”
“Touch me again and I’ll break your wrist!”
“You are… back-end of horse!”
“There’s no point in living if you can’t feel alive!”
“You have found yourself.”
Maud Adams returns to the Bond franchise as the title character who smuggles jewels via her International Traveling Circus. The fact that Bond (Moore) killed her father years earlier puts them at odds. That changes when Octopussy’s partner in crime, Prince Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan), betrays her.
“Get Zorin for me!”
“I’m glad I killed him.”
Italian actress Daniela Bianchi plays this Soviet cypher clerk unknowingly used by SPECTRE to draw out Bond (Connery) so he can be assassinated for killing Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman). Bianchi holds her own with Connery. Her awkward encounter with Colonel Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) will make your skin crawl. That scene pushes the limits for mainstream cinema in 1963.
Some may think Swann, portrayed by Lea Seydoux should be far lower on this list. On the contrary – her character is vastly important in shaping the Daniel Craig James Bond. She represents Bond’s second chance at the happiness denied him when he couldn’t rescue Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). He gives up everything for Swann. Whether or not that happiness lasts remains to be seen.
“James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choir singing. She repents and immediately reverts to the side of right and virtue. But not this one.”
“It makes you so cold. All the guns and the fighting, and for what? So you can be a hero? All the heroes I know are dead.”
“I’m half-Greek. And Greek women, like Elektra, always avenge their loved ones.”
“If you do you will be SHOT!”
“Then, Commander, when this mission is over, I will kill you.”
“And how the hell could Bond be so stupid?! I give him Double-O status and he celebrates by shooting up an embassy. Is the man deranged?! And where the hell is he?! In the old days, if an agent did something so embarrassing they’d have the good sense to defect. Christ, I miss the Cold War.”
“You never take me to dinner dressed like that, James. You never take me to dinner period.”
Teresa Di Vinchenzo is the only woman to marry James Bond (George Lazenby). Diana Rigg plays Tracy first as a petulant brat with a death wish. But as her relationship with Bond grows, her icy demeanor melts away. Their love is true and believable. Which makes it that much worse when Tracy is murdered minutes after marrying Bond. Rigg is still acting today. Most recently she was on HBO’s epic series Game of Thrones. Rigg’s performance as Tracy is often overlooked because of her pairing with one-and-done Lazenby. That’s a shame; Rigg and Lazenby have great chemistry. Give this one another watch.
“You can turn off the charm. I’m immune.”
“So there is a plan? Excellent. Somehow I got the impression we were risking ten million dollars and hundreds of people’s lives on a game of luck.”
To be fair, the filmmaker-in-question has a knack for exceeding general expectations. Oculus, for instance, is a WWE-produced haunted mirror flick, not unlike 2008’s dumb Keifer Sutherland vehicle Mirrors, which is a richly creepy, often unsettling family drama under the gaze of a psychological nightmare. Hush, meanwhile, is a bottle flick where a deaf author must fend herself against an unknown stalker killer in the middle of the night. It’s not defied by its depth, yet Flanagan’s astute direction and clever writing, alongside lead actress Kate Siegel, produces a compelling, engrossing and sometimes heartbreaking character piece that just-so-happens to be a home invasion thriller at the same time. Perhaps you have any idea where I’m going.
There are spooky demons, demonic children, haunted houses, product licensing and a sexy priest (Henry Thomas) thrown in the mix. For the most part, however, Origin of Evil is a contemplative, emotionally gratifying dysfunctional family drama, laced with heart and insight. It’s more tender, communicative and emotionally earnest than you’d ever expect. The actors are subtle and their characters are well-grounded from the beginning. Even when they’re visited by Satan’s allies, the film never feels dishonest or emotionally bankrupt, and that’s partially what makes it so stunningly vivid. Their foundation is true, and therefore their relationship and the events surrounding it feel appropriately conveyed and often heartfelt in their conviction. Again, I’m talking about a movie that’s inspired by a popular board game and produced by the director of the Transformers movies. Everything about this movie shouldn’t not work, yet it does. It works handsomely, in fact.
Beyond its muddled message and its concerning last act reveals, in ways not intended, Ouija: Origin of Evil is an immersive, tense, menacing and, yes, often pretty funny PG-13 creepfest. It’s stylish. It’s engrossing. It’s effective. It certainly makes the original look shit seven ways to Sunday, but its awesomeness is found not merely in its execution. Even its presentation is impressive, with added cigarette burns appearing on the top of the screen, complimented by little shakes on the screen thereafter, to make it look like a ’70s movie theater experience, along with an old-fashioned Universal logo and equally traditional title card. Unlike many nostalgia-obsessed by-products of late, it’s not merely throwback for the sake of throwback. Its attention to time, place and mood provides a stirring look at our changing landscape, and the new era of commercial values trumping homegrown investment. It’s not merely a nod to the past; it’s a celebration of what we meant before, and how even a board game can present a reflection of oneself.