John Oliver Says What We Really Think About The Paris Attacks

John Oliver opening his show, Last Week Tonight, with his comments on the Paris attacks.

“Here is where things stand. First, as of now, we know this attack was carried out by gigantic f—–g a——s. Unconscionable, flaming a——s, possibly working with other f—–g a——s, definitely working in service of an ideology of pure a——ery. Second, and this goes almost without saying, f–k these a——s. F–k them, if I may say, sideways,” said Oliver.

“France is going to endure. And I’ll tell you why: If you’re in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good f—ing luck! Because go ahead, bring your bankrupt ideology; they’ll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloises cigarettes, Camus, Camembert, madeleines, macarons, Marcel Proust, and the f—ing croquembouche. The croquembouche! You’ve just brought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight, my friends! You are f—ed! That is a French freedom tower!” said Oliver.

Matthew Sardo
Matthew Sardo
As the founder of Monkeys Fighting Robots, I'm currently training for my next job as an astronaut cowboy. Reformed hockey goon, comic book store owner, video store clerk, an extra in 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon,' 'Welcome Back Freshman,' and for one special day, I was a Ghostbuster.