Should WWE Extreme Rules even be a staple in our sports entertainment viewing diet?
You ever notice Twinkies don’t taste the same anymore? Seriously, you could have sworn that Twinkies seemed “sooooo much better” when we were kids? They MUST have messed with the recipe. Too many chemicals, right? What else could explain the gigantic drop off in satisfaction?
Extreme Championship Wrestling is a lot like that, unfortunately. I encourage you to log on to your WWE Network account and just watch a random episode of ECW TV. The storylines are not quite as amazing as you remember, and the wrestling sure isn’t very great either. Now, before anyone takes a bite of out my skull, nobody loves those RVD versus Jerry Lynn matches more than me. However, does anyone realize those were three matches out of the thousands of matches ECW put on in its entirety?
Sunday Night, June 4th WWE presents Extreme Rules from the Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore, MD. The original premise (stolen from WCW Uncensored for the record) was that all matches taking place at Extreme Rules would be “hardcore” and “unpredictable” to for the performers. Honestly, all this idea became was a way to cash in on what little nostalgic currency remained of ECW. The special event equivalent of the schoolyard bully holding the feeble nerd upside down to shake out every last ounce of spare change remaining in their pockets. That metaphor could be seen as a touch “on the nose,” but that doesn’t make the message any less true. There is nothing extreme about extreme rules, just as there is nothing ECW about WWE these days.
The makeup of Twinkies has not changed a bit by the way. Hostess still puts out the same sugary cake filled with cream that it always has. Upon chewing a bit anyone can find flashes of greatness. Those little reminders of the great yesteryear of snack time. Much like Sunday night’s event will feature the same cage matches, kendo sticks, and multi-person melees that were former staples of Extreme Championship Wrestling. Only, much like its yellow sponge counterpart, Extreme Rules is lacking real substance. Instead, consumers have no option but to devour what is nothing more than someone’s idea of what cake SHOULD taste like.
In the end, it turns out, Twinkies were never really all that amazing, to begin with. Nothing more than a nostalgic remnant deemed tasty by immature taste buds. However, without even realizing it, fans grew up and their pallets matured. We desire a steadier diet of entertainment because as adults we eat our veggies now.
With all due respect, the WWE Universe should collectively decide to go on a diet and do away with the cream filled remains of Extreme Championship Wrestling. After all, that stuff will kill you eventually…
